Doctor Dino Busted

I saw this in the news and didn't get the full impact of it at first. You know, it was like, Preacher Arrested for Tax Evasion, and who would read that?

But now I see it's more fun than I thought.

A Pensacola evangelist who owns the defunct Dinosaur Adventure Land in Pensacola was arrested Thursday on 58 federal charges, including failing to pay $473,818 in employee-related taxes and making threats against investigators.

Of the 58 charges, 44 were filed against Kent Hovind and his wife, Jo, for evading bank reporting requirements as they withdrew $430,500 from AmSouth Bank between July 20, 2001, and Aug. 9, 2002.
Evangelist arrested on federal charges

Doesn't it make it better that this guy runs "the defunct Dinosaur Adventure Land in Pensacola?"

Do you remember what Dino Adventure Land is was?

Kent Hovind, who often calls himself "Dr. Dino," has been sparring with the IRS for at least 17 years on his claims that he is employed by God, receives no income, has no expenses and owns no property.

"The debtor apparently maintains that as a minister of God, everything he owns belongs to God and he is not subject to paying taxes to the United States on money he receives for doing God's work," U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Lewis Killian Jr. wrote when he dismissed a claim from Hovind in 1996.

Hovind, an avowed creationist, has widely publicized his "standing offer" to pay $250,000 to anyone who can provide scientific evidence of evolution.

"No one has ever observed a dog produce a non-dog," Hovind once wrote in reply to a New York Times article.

Woo-hoo! I wonder how often this guy writes in our comments section.

Just joking, Anon. You sound lots smarter than that.




So how's a guy like this make off with all that money?

In the indictment unsealed Thursday, a grand jury alleges that Kent Hovind failed to pay $473,818 in federal income, Social Security and Medicare taxes on employees at his Creation Science Evangelism/Ministry between March 31, 2001, and Jan. 31, 2004.

As part of the ministry, Hovind operated the Dinosaur Adventure Land at 5800 N. Palafox St., which included rides, a museum and a science center. He also sold literature, videos, CDs and other materials and provided lecture services and live debates for a fee.

The indictment alleges Kent Hovind paid his employees in cash and labeled them "missionaries" to avoid payroll tax and FICA requirements.

Hey, I'm thinking. Years ago, like twenty years ago, somebody gave me a card that made me a Pontiff in the Discordian Church. They said that with this card I could actually perform marriages and stuff. I never did, but, do you suppose I could, like, stop paying taxes, too?

On Thursday, a message on the Dinosaur Adventure Land telephone welcomed visitors to the place "where dinosaurs and the Bible meet" and stated that the museum and science center were closed temporarily.

The indictment also says the Hovinds' made cash withdrawals from AmSouth Bank in a manner that evaded federal requirements for reporting cash transactions.

The withdrawals were for $9,500 or $9,600, just below the $10,000 starting point for reporting cash transactions.

Most of the withdrawals were days apart. For example, the indictment shows three withdrawals of $9,500 each on July 20, July 23 and July 26 in 2001.

I saw that one. Joe Friday caught them in the end.

Over Kent Hovind's protests, the judge took away his passport and guns Hovind claimed belonged to his church.

Hovind argued that he needs his passport to continue his evangelism work. He said "thousands and thousands" are waiting to hear him preach in South Africa next month.

But [judge Miles] Davis agreed with Assistant U.S. Attorney Michelle Heldmyer, who argued that "like-minded people" might secret Hovind away if he left the country.

As for the guns, Davis said "ownership was not the issue."

The article does not mention that the judge was twirling his index finger beside his temple and rolling his eyes while he said this.

And, as a musician I am finding a certain, you know, coolness in the fact that the judge is Miles Davis.

In April, Circuit Judge Michael Allen ordered the buildings at Dinosaur Adventure Land closed because Hovind failed to obtain a building permit during the 2002 construction. The outdoor theme park was allowed to stay open.

Members of Creation Science Evangelism said at the time that building permits violated their "deeply held" religious beliefs.

Yeah, man, this sounds like something my kids would come up with. "Dad, I just can't do this. Algebra is against my religion."

"Dad, my religion requires me to hang out at the Regal until two in the morning with a bunch of other juvenile delinquents."

"Dad, my religion requires that my boyfriend has to stay with us until his parents let him move back in."