News From the Future

Ah, clearly the administration didn't think this one all the way through ...

A mere two weeks into her tenure, President Hillary Rodham Clinton has announced a sweeping roundup of illegal enemy combatants, the first step in a comprehensive program designed to protect the American people from potential terrorist activities. In accordance with the Military Commissions Act of 2006, the nearly one million detainees will be held indefinitely without trial or recourse to legal counsel until such time as the President determines they no longer pose a threat to the United States and its allies.

"The legal basis of these sweeps is firmly grounded in the Military Commissions Act of 2006," Paul Grisley, White House Press Secretary, said, "which is an essential component of our ongoing struggle to protect America from those who would seek to destroy Her..."

While the names and crimes of the detainees are classified to protect the interests of national security, a clue as to some of their identities could be gleaned by means of a stroll though major government offices around the country. Four of the nine Supreme Court Justices, for example, failed to show up for work, as did approximately 220 congressmen, 52 senators and a number of governors and presiding justices of district and appellate courts. President Clinton Jails 938,000 Illegal Enemy Combatants

Go read the rest. It's hilarious.