Countering the Petitions
Some of us went out to hand out flyers at the locations where the Citizens for a Responsible Whatever were trying to collect signatures to re-legalize gender-identity discrimination. I left the house at about eleven, headed out to Gaithersburg, where I found TTF's Christine just leaving the Watkins Mill Giant. She said she had talked five people out of signing the petition, but eight had signed during that time. Whatever, that's worth doing.
She had gotten a call that there was a crowd at Congressional, outside the Container Store, and was headed over there, so I tagged along. She took 270, I took 355, her way was faster. When we got there, the scene was kind of sad. There was one Muslim woman with petitions trying to stop people but hardly anybody would talk to her. She said she was a doctor, but then refused to speak with us any more when she figured out who we were. She kept telling me not to take her photograph.
I went in and talked with the manager of the store. He said that they could collect signatures out there unless there were "No Soliciting" signs posted. He went out and walked around to see if there were any signs. There weren't. I explained to him how it looked when the Container Store was allowing this sort of behavior. He said that's just how America is, and I can't argue with that, though I wouldn't want somebody out front hassling my customers if I were him. Of course, in America the other side -- that's us -- also has the right to stand there with our own materials and tell people what the petition is really about. Whenever someone looked like they were considering signing the petitions, either Christine or I would explain to them that it's not about bathrooms, they want to allow discrimination.
Christine tried to talk to the lady. When people walked past her, she said, "How would you feel if there was a referendum to choose an official religion?" The lady tried to ignore her. This mind was shut tight.
After a while reinforcements arrived. I think there were two people, but only the one guy walked up from the parking lot with a sign-board. At this point the manager, Alexander, came out and had a little pow-wow with the Muslim lady and the new guy. I don't know what they said, but the new guy went back to his car with the sign-board and drove away. The first lady stayed.
Then we got a call to go out to Germantown. Northwest High School has a thing on Saturdays for Chinese students, maybe a thousand of them, and the shower-nuts wanted to capitalize on that. When we got there, Maryanne Arnow was talking with a guy with petitions, whose name we learned was George Zhang (he wouldn't tell me when I asked). According to Maryanne, he had been inside the building at first, and then had decided to stand out on the sidewalk.
This guy was weird. He had a handmade sign that said "Protect Our Children." I walked up and said, "How does this protect our children?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights, as they say. Because, really, it's about discrimination, there is absolutely nothing in this law that has to do with children. He didn't know who I was, if I was friendly or not, but either way, he had no answer to that simple question. Allowing discrimination against transgender people does not make children safer in any way.
I introduced myself to Maryanne -- we only knew each other through the blog and had never met -- and she wrapped me up in a big overwhelming hug. I'll tell you, she can talk! I saw her working on several of these people during the day. She is an effusive transgender woman, articulate and apparently immune to fear, likes to give hugs and make friends with people. While we were there, her friend Cynthia came up, a lovely brunette transwoman with a quiet sense of humor and a collection of facts about this issue, little things like details from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual and paragraphs of the nondiscrimination law that nobody else has noticed. I imagine her having a huge file cabinet bulging with scraps of paper containing incredible, little-known, highly-relevant facts.
I started taking some pictures of Mr. Zhang and he freaked. He whipped out his cell phone and started telling somebody we were harassing him.
He hid his face, saying, "Stop taking a picture of me. I'm being harassed. I'm being harassed."
It does seem strange to me that they'll commit themselves to standing out there, lying to people, but ... they won't let you take a picture of them? What are they ashamed of?
I was flattered when he told the person on the phone, "Jim Kennedy is here." I had thought he was calling the cops, but apparently he was checking in with headquarters. He'd heard me introduce myself to Maryanne.
While we were standing there, the door opened and a man in an Montgomery County Public Schools Security uniform came out. He told George, "You're not authorized to be here," and made him pack up and leave. I tried to take a picture of this but my camera didn't work right, and I just got a picture of the roof of the building. It was satisfying, seeing them thrown out of there.
We heard there were people on the other side of the building, and went around there. Now there were four of us: me, Christine, Maryanne, Cynthia. An older couple were carrying their table out to the car, they had been chased off, too. We stopped and talked with them. They were pretty hard-core. The lady said that if you prevent discrimination against transgender people it will "open the door to all kinds of nuts." She couldn't really back that up, but it was clear she wasn't going to see our point. The man called somebody on the cell phone. He kept saying, "We got five of them here. Five of them." But there were only four of us, see how that works? They just can't tell the truth, they've always got to exaggerate. It's not like if there were ninety-nine of us and he said there were a hundred; there were four of us, one two three four, not five. I think they were going to go set up by the street, which was not close to the school building. I doubt that worked very well for them, but I'm not sorry.
There are some questions here. The Chinese school apparently has a deal with Montgomery County Public Schools to use the space. I can appreciate that, I assume they have classes in Chinese, maybe some cultural things you wouldn't get at an American public school. If I lived in China, I think I'd send my kids to an American school on Saturdays, you know, to let them learn about hamburgers and stuff. But the school district did not give permission to the shower-nuts to gather petition signatures there to promote discrimination. It looks like the Chinese school gave the permission, but it's not their building, they are guests there. This raises a question to me: if people sign your petitions while you're trespassing, are those legal signatures? I would think that the Board of Elections might want to throw those out. I also think the principal of Northwest High School might want to reconsider whether she wants to provide hospitality to these bigots. Maybe the Chinese school should be held in a church or something, not public buildings supported by taxpayers.
There is a similar question about signatures obtained in church. Are signatures solicited in a church valid for use by government? I don't like the sound of that.
For that matter, I think there might be an issue about signatures obtained over the Internet, where people witness their own signatures online. Like, everything on the Internet is true, right? I think the Board of Elections will want to look very carefully at some of those.
It's funny, the CRW recruited people to carry the petitions, and gave them some cliches to repeat, but apparently never really told them what the law was about. Some of them didn't know the answers to any questions, and they would try to repeat the slogans, but this is funny: their whole argument is based on a scary stereotype. And I can't tell you how un-scary Maryanne and Cynthia are. When they're talking to you, the whole case about transgender sexual predators goes down the toilet. It is really a very effective way to deal with this situation. You can call it "education."
By the way, we got an email from an upset person who signed the petition at the Fallsgrove Safeway. One of the group's flyers says "Just the Facts" at the top, this person passing by said, "Oh, are you Teach the Facts?" and they said yes, so the person signed. They were embarrassed afterwards. I told them, it was just a mistake, don't worry, they need 24,999 other people to sign. I also asked her to contact the Board of Elections and tell them what happened. If something like this happened to you, the board's number is 240-777-8500. I don't think they're open on Monday, call Tuesday. Tell them that the group is misrepresenting themselves, and ask to have your signature removed.
Since the people were kicked out of the school, we decided to go check out Leisure World. Maryanne is an upcounty girl and knew a shortcut, zig-zagging across those rural roads -- it's a long way from Germantown to Leisure World, and we caravanned in four cars, led by Maryanne's gold and green Lincoln Towncar. She said it has 260,000 miles on it, pretty nice. Oh, and she goes like a bat out of hell. I was in the second car, I could see her smoking and talking on her cell phone as we raced across the countryside. Behind me, Christine was ... I guess you'd call it dancing ... in her car, listening to her new Mavis Staples CD. Cynthia has some sort of hybrid Honda and said it was a little hard to keep up with us.
We cruised through the parking lot at Leisure World and didn't see anything, so we went into Starbuck's for refreshments. Dana Beyer showed up, and so the five of us sat and yacked about stuff. There is a lot going on with this nondiscrimination bill, Dana was explaining how the legislative process works, how long everything takes, how a bill gets introduced. One thing about these transgender ladies, there is some really funny humor going on. They have to look at the world differently from the rest of us, because lots of people really don't understand them and so they deal with some stuff the rest of us don't have to think about, and there's an edge to their joking that is really incisive and to-the-point. We laughed a lot there, and people stared at our group. One World War Two vet hobbled over and kind of flirted with the women, while his wife tried to pull him away. Remember, this was Leisure World.
I'm a straight guy of an ordinary sort, and at least for me it takes some adjusting to hang with this crowd. The pronoun thing is always tricky, these are women but usually there are some male features, or mannerisms that they learned when they were men, expressions and gestures that you don't expect of a woman, and if you don't pay attention it's easy to say "he" instead of "she." Somebody commented when I said "you guys" to refer to them, but I know that's what I'd say to any group of women; the thing is you do feel self-conscious and don't want to make a mistake. I'm a kind of person who doesn't claim to be perfect, I screw up sometimes, if it seems important I apologize, but I don't kick myself needlessly over an honest mistake. I'm just a regular idiot about these things, and if I say something wrong, since they know I mean no harm, no offense is taken. At least I hope so. It's not so hard, and they are so interesting to talk to you don't worry about making the occasional faux pas.
It was cool to hear the stories. Each of them had heard of women, lesbians mostly, who had been kicked out of the ladies room because they were too masculine, something the shower-nuts don't seem too concerned about. We discussed the cootie theory. You wonder why some people are so freaked out over somebody's nonconformity, why it is such a big deal if a transgender woman uses the ladies room. Maybe the problem is they're afraid they're going to catch cooties. Well, it makes as much sense as anything, don't you think? There was also more serious talk about the dynamics underlying some of this, the fear of men, protecting the chastity of women. It's complicated stuff, and everybody has a theory.
We got up to leave, with hugs and kisses all around, and as we were walking to our cars we discovered that while we were drinking coffee the CRW had set up a petition table outside the Giant. A guy with a baseball cap was standing there, trying to get people to sign up to re-legalize discrimination, so we walked over there and started talking with him. As I mentioned, when these ladies are talking to you, the whole stereotype falls apart, they are not dangerous in any way. Like they'll say, do you want me to go into the men's room? This is a lady with long hair, diamond earrings, makeup, perfume. You look at her and you know she has to use the ladies restroom, and you know there's no problem with that.
I went into the Giant and asked a manager named Rico what Giant's position was on promoting discrimination. He said they'd given the group permission to get signatures out there. I asked him if they would've given permission if it was the Ku Klux Klan. He did give this some thought, but he wasn't going to be responsible for anything. He offered to give me the corporate office's phone number. I didn't want it. I pointed out that this would not help Giant's reputation in the community, and that he could change his mind. I think that basically he didn't want to think about it.
Outside again, a lady came up with her full shopping cart and said she had already signed the petition. She had white hair and beautiful blue eyes, a spunky older woman of a type I stereotype as a "rancher's wife." Maybe that's because I came from Arizona, where there are ranchers' wives. She said, "I think women should go in the ladies room and men should go in the men's room." So these transgender women chatted with her. At first it was a little tense, but as they talked it became clear that they agreed, women -- including them -- should use the ladies room. This ended with hugs, and the lady trucked her groceries out to the car, smiling.
The group stood around talking for a long time, maybe an hour. I thought it was funny, at least, the guy didn't get one signature during that time. You don't have to win the argument, just engage the enemy and the battle is won. But as the conversation went on, he -- his name was Jeff -- started laughing more and they all seemed to be becoming friends. I stayed out of it mostly, it seemed that Maryanne, Cynthia, and Dana were handling it well, with Christine throwing something in every once in a while. I took some pictures.
The sun was coming in at a sharp slant as the day was drawing to a close. This picture is a reflection in the window at Giant, showing (left to right) Cynthia, Christine, Maryanne, Dana, and Jeff standing around the table talking.
After a while, Jeff starting piling up the clipboards. He said he was going to have to go home to think and pray. He knew he was doing wrong, and he was making it right by stopping. The conversation ended with a nice hug between him and Maryanne:
Tomorrow they've got one last chance to get the signatures they need. It looks like they plan to hit the churches. Some of them are big, thousands of people, but I don't know about the legality of collecting petition signatures in a church. Whatever, I am pretty sure there will be lawyers looking at every aspect of this.
Here's what this comes down to. It's easy to talk about people like they're monsters, as long as they are not present. But these transwomen, you gotta say, you just can't see them as evil or dangerous, they aren't promiscuous or predatory or anything else. Usually it is not hard to tell that a woman used to be a man, and there is some language confusion in that, some role confusion but not much, you may feel uncomfortable sometimes but that is easily overwhelmed by their personal magnetism. These were some really likeable people, funny, smart, challenging you with their ideas, not the evil stereotype the shower-nuts want you to imagine.
By the way, that phrase "shower-nuts." You might have seen a discussion in the comments recently, where Maryanne didn't like me calling them that, and I explained why I think it's okay. I mentioned there, the people who sign these petitions are not necessarily shower-nuts. Most of them have no idea what the issue is. They are told that a law will let men into the ladies room, and they are against that, of course. They're told our children are not safe, our women will have no privacy, and they're against that. They're told that this is a Teach the Facts petition. So they sign it. They are suckers, they are not very smart to sign something when they don't know what it is, but they aren't the enemy. The people who carry the petitions, as well, are mostly volunteers from the churches or wherever, they aren't real shower-nuts. They are given some instructions about what to say, they are gullible enough to think that's all there is to it, and they go out and gather signatures. They think they're fighting immorality or protecting women or something, I don't know, but I assume that most of them are just trying to make the world a better place. The shower-nuts are the tiny core group of people who generate these ideas. Lately I have been hearing that there are seventeen of them, but this campaign seems to be mostly two: Ruth and Theresa. The peripheral members, Steina, Susan Jamison, Michelle, some of the others, are also shower-nuts. Maybe there are seventeen of them altogether. They want to make it legal again to discriminate against transgender people, and they don't care who they lie to or what they have to do to get that.
One last thing. We got the robo-call today at my house while I was out. My wife got it. She was not impressed. She said the points they made were ridiculous and none of it was convincing. Last night I got a call from a TTF officer who had received the call and she thought it was more professional even than Hillary's campaign robo-calls. She said it sounded expensive and persuasive. I haven't heard it, I can't tell -- hey, if you get one of these on your voicemail or answering machine, save it for us, would you? I'd love to hear this.
She had gotten a call that there was a crowd at Congressional, outside the Container Store, and was headed over there, so I tagged along. She took 270, I took 355, her way was faster. When we got there, the scene was kind of sad. There was one Muslim woman with petitions trying to stop people but hardly anybody would talk to her. She said she was a doctor, but then refused to speak with us any more when she figured out who we were. She kept telling me not to take her photograph.
I went in and talked with the manager of the store. He said that they could collect signatures out there unless there were "No Soliciting" signs posted. He went out and walked around to see if there were any signs. There weren't. I explained to him how it looked when the Container Store was allowing this sort of behavior. He said that's just how America is, and I can't argue with that, though I wouldn't want somebody out front hassling my customers if I were him. Of course, in America the other side -- that's us -- also has the right to stand there with our own materials and tell people what the petition is really about. Whenever someone looked like they were considering signing the petitions, either Christine or I would explain to them that it's not about bathrooms, they want to allow discrimination.
Christine tried to talk to the lady. When people walked past her, she said, "How would you feel if there was a referendum to choose an official religion?" The lady tried to ignore her. This mind was shut tight.
After a while reinforcements arrived. I think there were two people, but only the one guy walked up from the parking lot with a sign-board. At this point the manager, Alexander, came out and had a little pow-wow with the Muslim lady and the new guy. I don't know what they said, but the new guy went back to his car with the sign-board and drove away. The first lady stayed.
Then we got a call to go out to Germantown. Northwest High School has a thing on Saturdays for Chinese students, maybe a thousand of them, and the shower-nuts wanted to capitalize on that. When we got there, Maryanne Arnow was talking with a guy with petitions, whose name we learned was George Zhang (he wouldn't tell me when I asked). According to Maryanne, he had been inside the building at first, and then had decided to stand out on the sidewalk.
This guy was weird. He had a handmade sign that said "Protect Our Children." I walked up and said, "How does this protect our children?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights, as they say. Because, really, it's about discrimination, there is absolutely nothing in this law that has to do with children. He didn't know who I was, if I was friendly or not, but either way, he had no answer to that simple question. Allowing discrimination against transgender people does not make children safer in any way.
I introduced myself to Maryanne -- we only knew each other through the blog and had never met -- and she wrapped me up in a big overwhelming hug. I'll tell you, she can talk! I saw her working on several of these people during the day. She is an effusive transgender woman, articulate and apparently immune to fear, likes to give hugs and make friends with people. While we were there, her friend Cynthia came up, a lovely brunette transwoman with a quiet sense of humor and a collection of facts about this issue, little things like details from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual and paragraphs of the nondiscrimination law that nobody else has noticed. I imagine her having a huge file cabinet bulging with scraps of paper containing incredible, little-known, highly-relevant facts.
I started taking some pictures of Mr. Zhang and he freaked. He whipped out his cell phone and started telling somebody we were harassing him.
He hid his face, saying, "Stop taking a picture of me. I'm being harassed. I'm being harassed."
It does seem strange to me that they'll commit themselves to standing out there, lying to people, but ... they won't let you take a picture of them? What are they ashamed of?
I was flattered when he told the person on the phone, "Jim Kennedy is here." I had thought he was calling the cops, but apparently he was checking in with headquarters. He'd heard me introduce myself to Maryanne.
While we were standing there, the door opened and a man in an Montgomery County Public Schools Security uniform came out. He told George, "You're not authorized to be here," and made him pack up and leave. I tried to take a picture of this but my camera didn't work right, and I just got a picture of the roof of the building. It was satisfying, seeing them thrown out of there.
We heard there were people on the other side of the building, and went around there. Now there were four of us: me, Christine, Maryanne, Cynthia. An older couple were carrying their table out to the car, they had been chased off, too. We stopped and talked with them. They were pretty hard-core. The lady said that if you prevent discrimination against transgender people it will "open the door to all kinds of nuts." She couldn't really back that up, but it was clear she wasn't going to see our point. The man called somebody on the cell phone. He kept saying, "We got five of them here. Five of them." But there were only four of us, see how that works? They just can't tell the truth, they've always got to exaggerate. It's not like if there were ninety-nine of us and he said there were a hundred; there were four of us, one two three four, not five. I think they were going to go set up by the street, which was not close to the school building. I doubt that worked very well for them, but I'm not sorry.
There are some questions here. The Chinese school apparently has a deal with Montgomery County Public Schools to use the space. I can appreciate that, I assume they have classes in Chinese, maybe some cultural things you wouldn't get at an American public school. If I lived in China, I think I'd send my kids to an American school on Saturdays, you know, to let them learn about hamburgers and stuff. But the school district did not give permission to the shower-nuts to gather petition signatures there to promote discrimination. It looks like the Chinese school gave the permission, but it's not their building, they are guests there. This raises a question to me: if people sign your petitions while you're trespassing, are those legal signatures? I would think that the Board of Elections might want to throw those out. I also think the principal of Northwest High School might want to reconsider whether she wants to provide hospitality to these bigots. Maybe the Chinese school should be held in a church or something, not public buildings supported by taxpayers.
There is a similar question about signatures obtained in church. Are signatures solicited in a church valid for use by government? I don't like the sound of that.
For that matter, I think there might be an issue about signatures obtained over the Internet, where people witness their own signatures online. Like, everything on the Internet is true, right? I think the Board of Elections will want to look very carefully at some of those.
It's funny, the CRW recruited people to carry the petitions, and gave them some cliches to repeat, but apparently never really told them what the law was about. Some of them didn't know the answers to any questions, and they would try to repeat the slogans, but this is funny: their whole argument is based on a scary stereotype. And I can't tell you how un-scary Maryanne and Cynthia are. When they're talking to you, the whole case about transgender sexual predators goes down the toilet. It is really a very effective way to deal with this situation. You can call it "education."
By the way, we got an email from an upset person who signed the petition at the Fallsgrove Safeway. One of the group's flyers says "Just the Facts" at the top, this person passing by said, "Oh, are you Teach the Facts?" and they said yes, so the person signed. They were embarrassed afterwards. I told them, it was just a mistake, don't worry, they need 24,999 other people to sign. I also asked her to contact the Board of Elections and tell them what happened. If something like this happened to you, the board's number is 240-777-8500. I don't think they're open on Monday, call Tuesday. Tell them that the group is misrepresenting themselves, and ask to have your signature removed.
Since the people were kicked out of the school, we decided to go check out Leisure World. Maryanne is an upcounty girl and knew a shortcut, zig-zagging across those rural roads -- it's a long way from Germantown to Leisure World, and we caravanned in four cars, led by Maryanne's gold and green Lincoln Towncar. She said it has 260,000 miles on it, pretty nice. Oh, and she goes like a bat out of hell. I was in the second car, I could see her smoking and talking on her cell phone as we raced across the countryside. Behind me, Christine was ... I guess you'd call it dancing ... in her car, listening to her new Mavis Staples CD. Cynthia has some sort of hybrid Honda and said it was a little hard to keep up with us.
We cruised through the parking lot at Leisure World and didn't see anything, so we went into Starbuck's for refreshments. Dana Beyer showed up, and so the five of us sat and yacked about stuff. There is a lot going on with this nondiscrimination bill, Dana was explaining how the legislative process works, how long everything takes, how a bill gets introduced. One thing about these transgender ladies, there is some really funny humor going on. They have to look at the world differently from the rest of us, because lots of people really don't understand them and so they deal with some stuff the rest of us don't have to think about, and there's an edge to their joking that is really incisive and to-the-point. We laughed a lot there, and people stared at our group. One World War Two vet hobbled over and kind of flirted with the women, while his wife tried to pull him away. Remember, this was Leisure World.
I'm a straight guy of an ordinary sort, and at least for me it takes some adjusting to hang with this crowd. The pronoun thing is always tricky, these are women but usually there are some male features, or mannerisms that they learned when they were men, expressions and gestures that you don't expect of a woman, and if you don't pay attention it's easy to say "he" instead of "she." Somebody commented when I said "you guys" to refer to them, but I know that's what I'd say to any group of women; the thing is you do feel self-conscious and don't want to make a mistake. I'm a kind of person who doesn't claim to be perfect, I screw up sometimes, if it seems important I apologize, but I don't kick myself needlessly over an honest mistake. I'm just a regular idiot about these things, and if I say something wrong, since they know I mean no harm, no offense is taken. At least I hope so. It's not so hard, and they are so interesting to talk to you don't worry about making the occasional faux pas.
It was cool to hear the stories. Each of them had heard of women, lesbians mostly, who had been kicked out of the ladies room because they were too masculine, something the shower-nuts don't seem too concerned about. We discussed the cootie theory. You wonder why some people are so freaked out over somebody's nonconformity, why it is such a big deal if a transgender woman uses the ladies room. Maybe the problem is they're afraid they're going to catch cooties. Well, it makes as much sense as anything, don't you think? There was also more serious talk about the dynamics underlying some of this, the fear of men, protecting the chastity of women. It's complicated stuff, and everybody has a theory.
We got up to leave, with hugs and kisses all around, and as we were walking to our cars we discovered that while we were drinking coffee the CRW had set up a petition table outside the Giant. A guy with a baseball cap was standing there, trying to get people to sign up to re-legalize discrimination, so we walked over there and started talking with him. As I mentioned, when these ladies are talking to you, the whole stereotype falls apart, they are not dangerous in any way. Like they'll say, do you want me to go into the men's room? This is a lady with long hair, diamond earrings, makeup, perfume. You look at her and you know she has to use the ladies restroom, and you know there's no problem with that.
I went into the Giant and asked a manager named Rico what Giant's position was on promoting discrimination. He said they'd given the group permission to get signatures out there. I asked him if they would've given permission if it was the Ku Klux Klan. He did give this some thought, but he wasn't going to be responsible for anything. He offered to give me the corporate office's phone number. I didn't want it. I pointed out that this would not help Giant's reputation in the community, and that he could change his mind. I think that basically he didn't want to think about it.
Outside again, a lady came up with her full shopping cart and said she had already signed the petition. She had white hair and beautiful blue eyes, a spunky older woman of a type I stereotype as a "rancher's wife." Maybe that's because I came from Arizona, where there are ranchers' wives. She said, "I think women should go in the ladies room and men should go in the men's room." So these transgender women chatted with her. At first it was a little tense, but as they talked it became clear that they agreed, women -- including them -- should use the ladies room. This ended with hugs, and the lady trucked her groceries out to the car, smiling.
The group stood around talking for a long time, maybe an hour. I thought it was funny, at least, the guy didn't get one signature during that time. You don't have to win the argument, just engage the enemy and the battle is won. But as the conversation went on, he -- his name was Jeff -- started laughing more and they all seemed to be becoming friends. I stayed out of it mostly, it seemed that Maryanne, Cynthia, and Dana were handling it well, with Christine throwing something in every once in a while. I took some pictures.
The sun was coming in at a sharp slant as the day was drawing to a close. This picture is a reflection in the window at Giant, showing (left to right) Cynthia, Christine, Maryanne, Dana, and Jeff standing around the table talking.
After a while, Jeff starting piling up the clipboards. He said he was going to have to go home to think and pray. He knew he was doing wrong, and he was making it right by stopping. The conversation ended with a nice hug between him and Maryanne:
Tomorrow they've got one last chance to get the signatures they need. It looks like they plan to hit the churches. Some of them are big, thousands of people, but I don't know about the legality of collecting petition signatures in a church. Whatever, I am pretty sure there will be lawyers looking at every aspect of this.
Here's what this comes down to. It's easy to talk about people like they're monsters, as long as they are not present. But these transwomen, you gotta say, you just can't see them as evil or dangerous, they aren't promiscuous or predatory or anything else. Usually it is not hard to tell that a woman used to be a man, and there is some language confusion in that, some role confusion but not much, you may feel uncomfortable sometimes but that is easily overwhelmed by their personal magnetism. These were some really likeable people, funny, smart, challenging you with their ideas, not the evil stereotype the shower-nuts want you to imagine.
By the way, that phrase "shower-nuts." You might have seen a discussion in the comments recently, where Maryanne didn't like me calling them that, and I explained why I think it's okay. I mentioned there, the people who sign these petitions are not necessarily shower-nuts. Most of them have no idea what the issue is. They are told that a law will let men into the ladies room, and they are against that, of course. They're told our children are not safe, our women will have no privacy, and they're against that. They're told that this is a Teach the Facts petition. So they sign it. They are suckers, they are not very smart to sign something when they don't know what it is, but they aren't the enemy. The people who carry the petitions, as well, are mostly volunteers from the churches or wherever, they aren't real shower-nuts. They are given some instructions about what to say, they are gullible enough to think that's all there is to it, and they go out and gather signatures. They think they're fighting immorality or protecting women or something, I don't know, but I assume that most of them are just trying to make the world a better place. The shower-nuts are the tiny core group of people who generate these ideas. Lately I have been hearing that there are seventeen of them, but this campaign seems to be mostly two: Ruth and Theresa. The peripheral members, Steina, Susan Jamison, Michelle, some of the others, are also shower-nuts. Maybe there are seventeen of them altogether. They want to make it legal again to discriminate against transgender people, and they don't care who they lie to or what they have to do to get that.
One last thing. We got the robo-call today at my house while I was out. My wife got it. She was not impressed. She said the points they made were ridiculous and none of it was convincing. Last night I got a call from a TTF officer who had received the call and she thought it was more professional even than Hillary's campaign robo-calls. She said it sounded expensive and persuasive. I haven't heard it, I can't tell -- hey, if you get one of these on your voicemail or answering machine, save it for us, would you? I'd love to hear this.
25 Comments:
The lady you photographed at the Container Store was one of the two who were asked to leave the Westfield Wheaton Giant yesterday. The Muslim woman was very polite but her partner was irrational and confrontational. I tried to engage her in conversation and she called the police. I remained polite and friendly, pointed out that I have a transgender sister and I know how much this bill will help people and she became furious. She told me she had the police phone number programmed into her cell phone and began dialing.
I went into the Giant to talk to the manager. I told her that I didn't agree with their position on the bill but was more concerned about their misrepresentation of the bill. "I know they have permission to be there," I told her, "but I'd like permission to stand outside and ask people not to sign the petition." The manager went outside to speak to them and the Muslim doctor's partner began yelling. When I came outside, the partner walked up to me, bent over and put her mouth on my ear and yelled something at me. It was rather painful. The police she had called arrived and supervised the packing up. The partner remained loud and belligerent and as I left the store with my groceries I heard one of the police officers telling her that if she didn't shut up he'd arrest both of them.
My wonderful almost-14-year-old son got me into this, volunteering to work the polls last Tuesday, but he had other commitments on Saturday. He was with me at the Giant, but I had to take him home. After that I went to another mid-county location where the CRW had announced plans to petition, but I didn't find them. I drove around the area where there is a concentration of shopping centers but didn't find them. I found that it mattered to me that I was alone. Even though I had not done anything improper in the earlier meeting, I knew that I was afraid to encounter another screamer.
I am glad that you were able to work in a group and engage people in conversations. That is the outcome that we really want, and I applaud your success.
In today's Washington Post Outlook section there is a piece titled: "Call me a Snob, but Really, We're a Nation of Dunces" (pg.B-1) the author, Susan Jacoby, hones in on what I think is a good explanation of the thinking and actions of the so-called CRG types and I think the article goes a long way in analyzing just what the problem is: "...arrogance about [the] lack of knowledge. The problem is not just the things we do not know (consider the one in five American adults who, according to the National Science Foundation, thinks the sun revolves around the Earth); it's the alarming number of Americans who have smugly concluded that they do not need to know such things in the first place. Call this anti-rationalism - a syndrome that is particularly dangerous to our public institutions and discourse. ...The toxic brew of anti-rationalism and ignorance hurts discussions of U.S. public policy on topics from health care to taxation." And...I might add...understanding and supporting equal rights for transgender citizens who are entitled to those rights.
Christine, Maryanne, Cynthia, Dana, Jim, Tish, and any other TTFers who challenged the peititon drive this weekend (and I would have been one of them if I hadn't been recovering from a medical procedure that kept me at home) are to be congratulated for engaging these unknowlingly (for the most part) ignorant CRG petition-gatherers in civil discourse.
Too bad the leadership of the CRG can't follow that example.
RT
"Jim Kennedy is here."
Aah, those shock-and-awe inspiring words!
Children cower behind couches. Women run screaming. Men reach for their guns (or run screaming).
Yeah, right.
You're job would come simple, you know: if only it were as easy to roll out as many real, live, walking and talking tg people as it was to find an ignoramus or a bigot ready to spout absolute nonsense.
Perhaps to make up the numbers you need to follow the lead of CRWhatever and start producing fake transgender people for public appearances???
(Sorry Jim, but not you, however. I'm not sure what rare talents or what numbers of eons would be required to have you "pass"!)
Good to catch up on TTF and our best wishes to everyone, as always.
Andrea- not anon
Now it is my turn to go out. I am hoping that they aren't there but I'm going. I have Decline to Sign flyers and the famous e:mail from Ruth to Theresa which we got via our system of TTF spy satellites. I also have a homemade Decline to Sign poster- don't know if anyone saw the laminated long wordy Shower posters- I saw them at AFI
On another note, I go to services Saturday and Sunday. On Sunday(and other weekdays) we have a silent prayer in which you can "fill in"- silently -the names of those who are ill. I have always used that prayer for family, friends, co-workers who were physically ill. The translation asks God to heal people in body and soul and so today, I prayed using the names of a number of CRC/etc people. I asked God to cure their souls of hatred. We have a communal confessional prayer for the High Holy Days and one of those things we ask forgiveness for is baseless hatred. I believe it is a sin as well as an illness of the heart and mind. I thought it might help me today as I face people who have such hatred in their mind and soul
Here is something the shower-nuts posted on their site (www.notmyshower.net) titled, "Are you a bigot?"
Direct link: http://www.notmyshower.net/bigot.pdf
Here's what is says:
Are you a bigot? You just might be…
According to Dana Beyer, the Trans-gendered person who works in the County Council office, if you believe that XY chromosomes and male genitals make a person male, you are a bigot. Dana’s boss, Duchy Trachentberg, was the council member who sponsored Bill 23-07. Here’s a sampling of what Dana has posted on a public blog:
"These Anons are the definitions of bigots. With no scientific training or medical training, they pompously declare that people with XY chromosomes and male genitals are men. End of story. That it isn't so doesn't concern them on the plane of reality; that they would have to tolerate others who live in the world of facts is what annoys the hell out of them."
""Biologically male" -- define that for me. Having a penis doesn't make you male. There are males without penises, and females with them, depending on how you define "biological." "As for Muslim women, I have no desire to make their lives difficult. You are the one doing so, by calling trans women "men." Spread lies, and you harm those whom you purport to defend. If a Muslim woman chooses to ignore science and recoils from a trans woman, she can ask for her own accommodations, which I am sure Rio Sport and Health will be happy to provide."
"Theresa, you talk of "Tuesday transgenders." Nice neologism -- where did you pick that up? You're not a stupid woman, so you know that the amendment to the law was crafted specifically to exclude cross-dressers from the accommodations section of the law. You're the one who ended up killing that, so congratulations."
These folks believe that your sex is really what you feel inside - AS MCPS IS ALREADY TEACHING OUR 12 YEAR OLDS. If you believe that biology defines sex, then you are bigots like us, according to folks in power in our council office!
Our schools are teaching our children to think like Dana thinks. "Beyond the Binary" is distributed by the GSA (Gay Straight Alliance Clubs) at our public schools. Is our culture worth saving? It is disappearing before our eyes. Do something about it ! Please volunteer to help us this weekend. Email volunteer@notmyshower.net today !
I believe anon is a FRC/FOF/CRW/CWA whatever operative whose purpose is to goad people into producing statements his group can exploit.
rrjr
CRW's post underscores the essential nature of bigotry, that they feel absoultely justified in their disdain for the targeted group of people. It is not different than racial or religious bigotry, they just feel more able to say it in public.
The .pdf on their website also gives the lie to Theresa's repeated assertions that they are just really concerned about privacy in bathrooms and locker rooms. They support discrimination because, in their opinion, trans people are inferior to themselves.
Andrea -not anon
Okay, any who is offended by calling people names, leave. I did not call people names during my time at the Giant(well, not to their faces)- but I was called a facist by short baseball cap guy and told I should have been aborted by fat white haired plaid shirt guy(two of the three Showwer nuts). Short guy seeing that a 5'1woman of more than 50 years was a threat- because I was armed with the TRUTH- tried to intimidate me. He told me I had to leave, he yelled at me to leave, told me the police told him I had to leave- I told him to bring the police to tell me to leave. He tried the "we have a permit from Montgomery County and you don't. " I didn't leave. I have faced angry war supporters, anti-feminists, US Secret Service- outside the Burmese embassy, Riot police at the Supreme court- when Burma wasn't something the whole US congress was against and nearly smashed by Philly police horses- at a Flyers Stanley Cup parade. Not to mention my travels in Asia, the Middle East and South America. So I am not gonna be scared by short baseball cap guy, old fat plaid shirt guy and not- all-there sweater hat guy.
However, short baseball cap guy did intimidate the manager of the Arliss Giant- which is one of the two dirtiest worst stocked Giants in MC- Blair Giant- you go second. I guess his mgmt skills are similar in all situations. I had spoken to the manager and I say he told me I could pass stuff out- he says he didn't and told me I had to get off the property. I think Jim will blog the rest of the story-but suffice it to say- I did stay in the parking lot with my homemade sign and our flyers. Short baseball cap guy-if you read this- I've been working on the other side of hatred and facism for 40 years- it will take more than a bigoted blowhard like you to get me gone.
I forgot- I told the short baseball cap guy my name(he wrote it down-please don't call I am happily married and never dated bigots anyway)- because I am not ashamed of what I was doing but he wouldn't give his name. I guess he couldn't wear his pointed hood and sheet so not giving his name was the next best thing.
OLD LADY POWER!!!!
Theresa is trying to twist my words, and they were taken somewhat out of context, but they're basically true.
Most of the people with whom we've been dealing are not bigots, they are just ignorant. When they sign this petition, they become agents of bigotry.
Some of the circulators were not bigots, again, just ignorant, and agents of bigotry.
It is Theresa and her merry band, including Anon(baseballcapguy), Craig from Arliss, his poor friend who stood out there shivering in fear who told me he was doing God's will, who are the true bigots. It is their life's mission to discriminate against us and a host of others, not because they fear for their lives, or for women's lives in showers, but because they are afraid of their own sexuality, and congregate with fundamentalists who comfort them by calling us abominations. Of course, it is these people who always turn out to be the real perverts, like Delegate McKee who was the head of the Boys/Girls Clubs in Washington County when he suddenly resigned yesterday because of the discovery of kiddie porn on his computer.
Ballcapguy was actually trying to tell someone that the Republicans oppose this bill, and they were the first to liberate people in this country. He actually had the gall to tell that to a black woman. And his friend, Craig, just stood there, chukling about how he wants to turn out the entire County Council. When I suggested to him he should run for office, he said he would but he didn't want to work FOR me [sic]. We are dealing with some people of limited intellect here.
This is typical Republican hate speech. I tell Theresa she's a bigot, because of her actions, and her refusal, as a scientist, to consider any of the science. She then goes and claims I believe anyone who thinks that a human with a penis and a Y chromosome is a man is a bigot.
Education is hard for some people. I have blogged here many times about sexuality, including chromosomal and genetic variations, and she has never challenged me on any of it. But when I try to teach that there are men without a Y chromosome, or women with penises, because biology is a little more complex than the presence of absence of a penis, she claims I'm calling the uneducated bigots.
Sorry. It won't work. Some of the people who have signed are bigots, and I've met some of them. Some were simply scared by baseballcap guy and the other liars. Some were completely deceived, like my friend who was about to sign because she thought it was "teachthefacts" rather than "justthefacts." And they accuse us of intimidation.
One guy actually accused me of assault because I told him his legal signature on a public petition would appear on the internet. It's amazing how the haters can't stand the sunlight.
So, Theresa, do you really wonder why the Council didn't take any of your complaints to heart, other than making sure the law meant what it said, or didn't say? Because everyone on the Council and staff was treated to the bare, raw bigotry of you and your friends. We don't see that with growth policy or the school budget, public safety or health and human services issues. Clients and service providers and lawyers and developers come through all the time, ask for things to be added or dropped, and engage in a civil manner. It is only you who rant and rave and turn people off completely with your hate, leaving you out in the cold.
They're really out doing themselves. There's a lot more inflamatory anti-gay links and lies on the shower site since I checked last.
--
This portion in bold (under the kids section):
"Bill 23-07, mandating educational programs on transsexual behavior,"
Hyperlinks to this (emphasis in original):
Bill 23-07 Educational Provisions
27-5. Duties generally
(a) The Commission must:
* * *
(2) Conduct educational and other programs to promote equal rights and opportunities of all persons regardless of race, color, religious creed, ancestry, national origin, sex, age, marital status, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, genetic status, presence of children, family responsibilities, or source of income.
* * *
(6) Study and investigate, through public or private meetings, conferences, and public hearings, conditions that could result in discrimination, prejudice, intolerance, or bigotry because of race, color, religious creed, ancestry, national origin, sex, age, marital status, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, genetic status, presence of children, family responsibilities, or source of income.
--
Again, here's how they characterize it:
"Bill 23-07, mandating educational programs on transsexual behavior,"
And voila, gender identity, in and of itself, is now a "sexual behavior."
--
You should see their secion on religious liberty. Boo hoo, wah wah, everybody's attacking our religious freedom.
Poor persecuted "Christians." Ugh.
Just to let you guys know, I did sign the petition over at Westbard today. I probably wouldn't have done so if you had exempted religious institutions. This is an error on Duch and Dana's part. They seem to have done so purposely. It's scary that a couple with this contempt for traditional religious institutions has weasled their way into a position of influence in our local goverment.
The table was set up in the shopping center parking lot where many people from my church park and take a shuttle to attend services. I chatted with the people running the table. They said none of you had harassed them. We laughed about the pictures on your blog yesterday. They said the Muslim woman you harassed yesterday was over in front of the Giant at Westbard today. They had cleared everything with the manager of the Giant there, who was supportive of democracy.
I flipped through the pages of the petition, which were many. They seem to be doing very well at this location. For what it's worth, I asked everyone at my Sunday School table if they had signed it and none had. They said they might before they go home.
Your Favorite Anon
Red Baron, you're no one's favourite. Congratulations on being a bigot.
Well, I can tell you, AnonFreak that NOBODY at my church signed it, even though CRW(eirdos)sent information and forms-- and all members were givin 50 "Decline to Sign Fliers" to take to their after-church destinations here in Montgomery County. Wow... now THAT'S a lot of people! ;-)
and by "givin"... I meant, "given". Ugh, tough day fighting hate..wears one out when they are fighting for truth and equality of all God's children.
And in a very familiar story yet another Republican is shown to be a hypocritical pervert:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do;jsessionid=B7F840D97ADF2DDBA2271D754963AB09?diaryId=4525
Robert A. McKee, who is a Republican delegate from Western Maryland as well as a former chaplain for the Hagerstown Jaycees and trustee and community services chairman at First Christian Church, had two computers, videotapes and printed materials from his home in Hagerstown by authorities conducting an investigation into child pornography.
In what can only be described as familiar hypocrisy of epic disgusting proportions, McKee was the sponsor of legislation to protect minors from sexual predators, and placed himself in professional situations involving child welfare.
As is usual the one's screaming the loudest about perversion are the ones guiltiest of it.
So true, Priya. AnonFreak, is there something you would like to get off your chest?
Oh, and one more thing before I call it "a night". GAY RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uoiRIkqw4w
And, Anon, please tell me why religious institutions should be allowed to discriminate against anyone, other than those who do not belong to their religion? They are not allowed to discriminate against any of the other categories, but you believe they should be allowed to discriminate only against trans people? Very interesting pose to take, particularly when no religion has anything to say in its writings about trans people.
Sounds like a coverup to me.
Gay Rights are Human Rights
Good video Mr. Teacher Man. Moving.
"Favorite Anon"...get over yourself! You are a fraud and a moral coward. Your unctuousness is getting so deep that you are forcing us here to get up on chairs to avoid stepping in your smarminess. People who use religion to justify their bigotry are morally corrupt and clearly unChristian. Shame on you.
Andrea- not anon
M.N. anon signed the petition- I'm shocked, shocked. But at least he did it out of knowing bigotry and hate.
There are many who signed it thinking there was some law that threatened women and children and we need to vote on it or that some rights were kept from people when the council voted. The liar today wasn't willing to tell the truth-and my telling the truth unnerved him. I am glad for that.I am glad that a bullying bigoted liar was threatened by my presence so that he lied about a county permit and about the police and then tried to just yell me into leaving. We are all stronger than the bigots and haters- no matter our size or age or our physical strength.
I can’t speak for Maryanne, but I suspect she, like me knows all too well the power of names. Once you call someone a name, you can turn off the brain. I have been called all sorts of names in my lifetime, and quite frankly “mentally ill” isn’t even near the worst, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I won’t go into a diatribe on name calling as I really don’t have the time. However, the movie “Freedom Writers” (starring Hilary Swank) is a far more eloquent testament to the power of getting past ignorance, fear, bigotry and name calling than I could ever write here. I also recommend the book “The Freedom Writers Diary.” It was extremely difficult for me to read at times, because I was crying every few pages, but worth every minute of it.
I would prefer to write on the CRG site, as they claim to be interested in “Just the Facts,” but they don’t have a place for me to add my information. It seems there are some CRG sympathizers reading this blog, so perhaps my message will get out to a few people who need to hear it.
I have to agree with the folks that characterize the petition drive to repeal bill 23-07 as a fear and smear campaign against transgender people. When I went out yesterday to try and protect my rights to a job and home, the large posters on the campaign adds read “Protect our Children” and “Keep our Locker Rooms Safe,” not “Please Support a Religious Exemption for Hiring in 23-07.” Of course, the literature on the tables read:
“Gender Identity disorder” is classified as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association.
Thanks you so much for characterizing me and many of my friends as ready to be carted off to the loony bin by guys in white coats, or perhaps in imminent danger of purchasing a bunch of guns and going of to a nearby school. That was just implied. “Women’s privacy and safety rights jeopardized” is explicitly written on the handouts in order to conflate us with sexual predators and pedophiles. None of this of course bears any reality to the fact that a public restroom is one of the places transwomen fear most, as there is no telling what might happen to us if someone suspects our medical history and calls a bouncer or the police – this is a very good way to get assaulted or even killed. If a pre-op transwoman does get carted off to the pokey, she typically will be thrown in the same facility as the men, and you can just imagine the danger she’ll face then.
I am still very self-conscious using the ladies room even though I’ve been doing it for 4.5 years without incident. I used to carry a letter from my therapist explaining my situation in my purse in case anyone caused a fuss. When she gave it to me, I asked her if she knew if it would keep me from going to jail if some woman complained there was a “man” in the restroom. She said she didn’t know, as none of her patients had ever had to present it. (She’s supervised the transition of several dozen people – a process that typically runs about 5 years.)
Here are some facts that seem to have been conveniently left out about the discussion of mental illness and DSM-IV on the CRG literature:
NONE of the psychotropic drug treatments typically associated with “mental illness” (Paxil, Welbutrin, Lithium, Valium, Xanax, etc.) are listed as therapeutic agents for Gender Identity Disorder. The drugs that ARE associated with treating this disorder are hormones – estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and anti-androgens – drugs that block the effects of hormones. While one could make the case that testosterone is a dangerous mind-altering drug and its over-use has been linked to a condition known as “Roid-Rage,” transwomen are on estrogen and anti-androgen (testosterone blocking) treatments.
Some trans folk do suffer from depression – this is referred to as a “co-morbidity issue” in the medical literature. This is not surprising given how many of them lose their jobs, careers, homes, property, spouses and even children as they progress through transition. Despite this, many of them are able to reduce or even eliminate the need for anti-depressants after transition.
Here are other dangerous “mental illnesses” listed in DMV-IV – be sure to watch out for folks with these in the restroom:
Academic Problem V62.3
Age-Related Cognitive Decline 780.9
Bereavement V62.82
Breathing-Related Sleep Disorder 780.59
Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorder 307.45
Communication Disorder NOS 307.9
Developmental Coordination Disorder 315.4
Disorder of Written Expression 315.2
Eating Disorder NOS 307.50
Expressive Language Disorder 315.31
Female Orgasmic Disorder 302.73
Female Sexual Arousal Disorder 302.72
Male Orgasmic Disorder 302.74
Mathematics Disorder 315.1
Nicotine Dependence 305.10
Parent-Child Relational Problem V61.20
Partner Relational Problem V61.1
Premature Ejaculation 302.75
Reading Disorder 315.00
Religious or Spiritual Problem V62.89
Rumination Disorder 307.53
Sexual Aversion Disorder 302.79
Sibling Relational Problem V61.8
Stuttering 307.0
While the CRG is raising a huge stink about the safety of little girls in the restroom, despite the fact that the language that would have allowed gender variant folks to use the restroom was deleted in draft 6 of 23-07, no one seems to have told them that estrogen is essentially “Anti-Viagra.” It SIGNIFICANTLY reduces not only sexual drive, but mechanical ability as well. As a post-op transwoman, with a lower blood testosterone level than the average natal female, my total sex drive is only slightly above that of a dead cat’s.
Although it is difficult to get accurate numbers for trans-related issues, the ones most often quoted for the sexual nature of transwomen indicates that they are roughly equally divided between heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, and asexual (i.e, non-sexual). As such, on average, only about 50% of the transwomen in the restroom are even sexually interested in women to begin with. Transwomen are far outnumbered by lesbians on that count, but no one seems to be petitioning to get them out of the ladies’ room.
The other point conveniently left out of CRG literature is that for many (most?) patients who follow the recommended treatment guidelines laid out in the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, (the triadic treatment involving therapy, hormones, and surgery as needed per the patient – the basic form of which was followed successfully by Christine Jorgensen five and half DECADES ago) are able to find a comfortable accommodation with a gender identity that fits them. Once the conflict with body / mind / and gender are resolved, a diagnosis of “Gender Identity Disorder” is no longer accurate. In very simplistic terms, now that my mind and body comfortably live day to day as a woman, I am no longer wishing I could be the opposite gender, I am “cured.” I’m sure that will light up a few folks and their keyboards!
The fact of the matter is there is no psychological test they could give me now that would show GID. I know – I’ve been through all sorts of personality and mental illness exams in the course of my treatment. Much to the chagrin of folks trying to marginalize me, none of them showed any cognitive deficit. Not surprising – I wouldn’t have graduated summa cum laude from one of the top engineering schools in the country had I been suffering some “mental illness” -- much less held down jobs designing assorted telecom circuitry for all but 8 months of the last 19 years. (22% of the start-up I was at was laid off in 2003 – I went “full time” then and had facial surgery a few months after being let go – I used the rest of the time to recover.) If any of the tests HAD shown some kind of personality disorder or cognitive deficit, it would have been grounds for delay or denial of treatment for GID.
The FACT of the matter is the “mental illness” of GID has been successfully treated with hormones, talk-therapy, and surgery (on the body, not the brain) for 5 AND A HALF DECADES. The first edition of the “bible” for treating this condition was put out in 1979 – nearly 3 DECADES ago. Although surgical techniques and hormones have improved in this time, the basic format hasn’t changed much in almost 60 years. Why? Because it works – and all the other things they’ve tried don’t. What typically happens when a transperson isn’t properly treated? It is not uncommon for them to commit suicide. They do not go hunting around ladies rooms for women and girls to molest.
Some people think this is some kind of “lifestyle choice.” Like I could choose between “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” or, as is far too common for a transperson, “Lifestyles of the Poor and Cast Out.”
Ask yourself this question (I’ve asked it of a number of people): what would it take for you to buy a one-way ticket to the other gender, and potentially lose your job, your spouse, your friends, your family, your house, your standing in the community, and your sexual pleasure? Would you do it for a million dollars? 10 million? A hundred million? Invariably people say “No.”
What if you had a gun to your head? … a long pause ensues… “Maybe.”
That was my choice folks: live my life as a potentially miserable woman, or die as a miserable man. I chose to live.
Transition took me six years and roughly $120,000 (not all of which is noted below).
Facial Surgery: $34,500 + air and hotel expenses.
Electrolysis on my face: about 4 hours a week for 6 years: $60,000
“Downstairs” surgery: $15,500 + air and hotel
Living life without a daily death-wish? Priceless.
I have plenty more to write, but some of us have jobs to go to – I’ve got a communications and control hub for a bus to design tomorrow.
Peace,
Cynthia
Hi all -
just wanted to dig in here and respond to some of what i saw and heard today and in the last couple of days this week.
Some of the things i have heard this week and today were no more than lies, distortions, even direct insult and inconsideration, or incomplete and innaccurate assertions at best.
I will give a (long)bit of a detailed narrative of what has happened for me in the last 2 or 3 days, and from a differing view than Jim's.
Part of this, is because i actually heard from a woman i confronted today at the Rockshire Giant in Rockville, that she had been called by a man (Jeff) that i have talked to at least twice now, at two different locations, in two days, and that had supposedly told her that he was "intimidated" by me.
This is The very same man shown hugging me, in a picture from Saturday, published on this very site...
Her partner at Rockshire i met, also was very rude and very insulting and even said (again, a nice, morallly and ethically correct Christian lady)
Within the first five minutes of our conversation, she said -
"YOU look just like a clown" -
i guess, just to be mean and throw one below the belt...
OK - so I'm in jeans, a baseball cap, and denim jacket with a black and very conservative sweater under that. Normal but fashionable and well-fitting boots for cold weather.
Now i wonder if she's going to go around and misrepresent everything she saw in me, and tell everyone how she met this ridiculously dressed "guy" that thinks (poor sick thing - ohh sooo concerned for my poor soul and poor sick mind) "he's thinks he's a girl"...
ummmm...as far as i know, i have never seen a "clown" in jeans, very natural makeup, conservative earrings, no nail polish, and a denim jacket - and getting compliments earlier this afternoon from someone i didn't even know - a beautiful and well dressed woman at a coffee shop - about my age - - how much she liked my boots and where did i get them from, etc. - you know - normal girly talk in public between any two women that may have never met before...
and this person of such superior moral and ethical standards is calling me a "clown" in front of others in public, and telling me i look nothing like a girl and i "never can and Never will". A nice, "polite", well mannered and Mature Christian woman.
And that was in the very beginning of our exchanges before the heated debated started many minutes later...
Absolute in my face lies and total disrespect and total refusal to not refer to me in the male pronoun even though i asked maybe a dozen times to please extend that civil courtesy to me.
I asked this, since that it is, in fact, the WELL-KNOWN reality of my ENTIRE public and private and professional life. I dont live as any sort of male now - not ever - havent for years now...have no desire to, either...
Her partner at this table told me (Jeff) had called her on the phone and talked with her about how he was now "very upset" and he had felt "intimidated" and was very upset about all of the lies and the pictures posted here on this site and how his words had been "distorted".
On Both occasions that i had met this same person this week, he was extremely warm, very friendly and peaceful, and both times, with witnesses, he and i parted with hugs and mutually very warm sentiments because we had BOTH actually listened to one another, and had BOTH learned something from it.
So Here's how it goes, starting from Friday afternoon when i first met him. A very nice guy.
Friday, the 15th, - late afternoon, maybe about 5 PM or so. I arrived at the Lancaster County Dutch Market in Germantown, looking for petitioners to engage and prevent from spreading any further lies and micharacterizations about this issue, or any members of the T or LGB communities at large.
I had learned of the likelihood of their presence there because of memorandum intercepts from Ruth Jacobs and Theresa Rickman to all of their supporters organizing and manning the petition drives.
This had been passed on to me, and others such as Dana Beyer, Dan Furmansky of Equality Maryland, JimK, and all the rest of the good folks on this blog in support of upholding the law that has been passed, as well as many other forums that i and others like myself are connnected with all over the state and country.
These memos clearly showed what areas the CRC and CRG would be targeting.
I found them both interesting and scary. They seemed to really be targeting areas where high concentraions of older voters and more conservative types would be, as well as areas that have a lot of families with children.
Good political and strategic thinking, but nonetheless, obviously targeting certain demographics - the most easily swayed and influenced by the kind of fear, lies, and misperceptions our opponents seem determined to sell to the general public at large to make their point at whatever cost or means.
I dont say that to be mean. It's very personal to me. It's difficult to keep one's emotions in check, especially if you believe that everything you stand for as an individual is being completely or even partially misrepresented by others for any reason at all.
So I arrive at the Dutch market Friday and there is a table with signs, and at least two people obviously collecting signatures.
I called Dr. Dana Beyer and told her i am about to go and engage with them, and will let her know if i need any help.
I parked and walked over to the Market, where they have a nice table set up with clipboards, signs, handouts and flyers of at least 3 or 4 different types. There are two men working here, one man of color, one white male - 40's to mid 50's. I am dressed well, and usually very comfortable and conservative.
I'm in blue jeans, nice winter boots, flat sole. no heels - comfy and warm but cute and totally "mainstream" - baseball cap in the cold, my hair pulled back - Natural.
"Normal" for any professional woman, and true "girly girl" in her early forties (like me) trying to make the best with what she's got to work with.... Just like almost any other woman in America does every day of her life..
Very much always in season and in very reasonable style, and i'm no "drag" queen by any means, by ANYONE that ACTUALLY knows me personally.
This includes family, friends (90% straight, mainstream folks, professional associates -(fellow chefs, mostly straight guys that know the difference, and many real women and "normal" biological female friends that think i have truly great, but very unobtrusive style.
I am self-posessed, super self-confident, highly outgoing, generous to a fault, obviously very comfortable in my own skin, and generally known to be a VERY warm and hospitable person. I am also a very emotional person. Have always been. Deeply sensitive, empathic, and also sometimes easily hurt. Like that would be unusual for any woman ?? yeah, right...
OH - and my wife - a "normal" biological woman - beautiful and intelligent. My best friend and soulmate, and still married more than 10 years already.
So i walk over to these guys, and get them to talk to me. Look them both in the eyes and ask them to explain what they are doing and why. At first, neither of them even guessed i am trans - so that should tell you something right there - they're warmly greeting me with hello ma'am - would you like to sign this petition ? etc...
I want hear what they have to say, see if can actually get them to tell me a fallacy or distortion before either figure out that i am not there to sign it. If they do, that means that they are telling lies to everyone else they have talked to. Hundreds of people, probably.
It's not that i am calling these guys liars, either - it's that they have been given half of a story to tell the to the rest of the general public, and a badly distorted half at that.
It has played on their greatest fears and concerns as good citizens and fathers and family men. I understand this.
They deeply beleive in what they have been told, and because it plays so deeply on their most basic human fears as dads, husbands, and community members -
and so of course, they are going to swallow almost anything they've been fed, and then regurgitate this mass on people that are just as truly uninformed from all sides of the issue as they themselves apparently are -
It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle of lies and negativity that effectively and eventually energizes and galvanizes hundreds and thousands of people to take action to do whatever it takes to "prevent all the monsters(metaphorically speaking) from getting at them and their kids"...
Their names are Max - a tall, broadshouldered, well dressed man of color in his forties with a slight accent. Very well spoken and friendly, but very firm, and a booming voice, especially when agitated...
The other fellow - a much slighter man - white, early-mid fifties, about my height - maybe 5'9 or so -casually dressed - a baseball cap and tennis shoes w/jeans and a jean jacket. Very warm, very polite, well mannered and very softly spoken. Easy to talk to. Nice clear blue eyes and a good genuine smile.
The kind of guy that ANYONE would like, if they just met and exchanged basic pleasantries on the street or at the store. A veteran too, i think.
They made an excellent team because they were well balanced, and contrasted and complimented each other quite well.
I got Max to actually inform me that this law had been passed without any amendments, that the public had been "uninformed", and that the "8 member council" had "just decided to pass this bill into law" and "impose their will" on the rest of the county's residents.
I asked if there had been public hearings on this matter, and he told me that there had, but that they had been played down and under-publicized. That's 3 for 3 right there.
It just so happens that i am carrying copies of my very own testimony at county council from one of the public hearings on the matter back in October of this past year.
It also happens that myself as well as many other Transgender women from all over the area got a fairly considerable amount of media coverage during that time.
I alone was on newschannel 8, an abc news 7 segment, and had a half page article with a big color photo of me at my home, published in the Washington Post at that time as well - Written by reporter Ann Marimow - she wrote a fair and excellent article. A Sunday edition no less -
Do you know how many people get the Sunday edition of the post and watch those channels ? And that was just me...Oh yeah - forgot about the detailed Gazette article from that time as well.
Ok - now the bill was amended, several times, and went through the usual channels to get it passed. Just like every other bill that has ever gone through the council. Now they have people out here telling fellow citizens things like these distortions and it gets me upset. real upset.
I thank them, take some literature, leave, go and get my briefcase, call Dana & tell her what's going on, and then walk back and begin the debate and dialogue with these guys - two to one.
I engage them both and stay that way for at least a full hour until help arrived in the form of Mr.Teacher Man - from right here on the blog. Dana Beyer has called in some support for me, but i really have my hands full until that time.
I started out by introducing myself and politely telling them that i am here to prevent and interfere with their activities in any way i possibly can. That usually creates kind of a shock for a moment or two -
Max imediately begins to address me in the male pronoun. At first it is really quite rude. not really mean, just patently and disrespectfully rude. He's a very intelligent guy, and speaks very well. Likes to think he knows all aspects of the issue and the law itself from inside and out.
If that were true why did he already tell me at least three things that were not true, just to begin with?
Not only this, but he is DEAD sure the law was never even amended before p[assing], and just keeps pounding on that point and how he knows his rights as a citizen and will see it come to real public opinion and that the language is so vague that it needs to be re-written.
He honestly feels violated, and has somehow been convinced by SOMEONE else that the council just quietly slipped one under the rug right under his and everybody's nose on this one, and has no problem convincing others of this distortion as well.
He insists now that he is not biased or discriminatory towards folks like me - and i believe him. He really is a nice guy - he tells me about discrimination because of his race, and that he knows what something like that feels like.
i totally agree and he says but that is not the issue - i believe he honestly believes that, too..
He is still being very polite, but now becoming SOOOOO zealous and forceful that it's becoming harder by the second for me to reason with, discuss, and reach past any of the rhetoric he just keeps running over and over, like a reel to reel tape stuck on repeat...
i have also engaged Jeff at the same time. Got both of their attention and begin to tell them about me, people like me, and why all of this hurts me very directly as a fellow citizen and since i actually AM one of the "sorts of people", in question now.
This IS actually about MY life in more personal ways than it will ever be for either of them, or any of you for that matter, unless you are transgendered and have to face what i face every day of my life.
Max picks up the copy of the council testimony - the final draft i guess, and printed in such a manner that it does not show, anywhere that i can find in it, where it HAD BEEN previously amended using the standard [[bracketing]] where ever it has had language first added, and then OMITTED on later AMENDED drafts BEFORE a vote for passage.... hmmm.. how interesting is that ?
SOMEONE had to give them these materials, explain them in an INNACCURATE manner, and told them exactly how to use them for maximum effect.
This guy is literally telling me to my face that "this bill passed and that it has NEVER been amended" and "that the public never had a fair chance to weigh in on the issue".
He actually said that - MAX - if you are out there - you KNOW we left on very good terms, but please do not deny you were telling people that, because you WERE.
A lie. A distortion, a main selling point of your pitch.
Right in front of the face of a transgendered woman fighting to for her life to survive in this county and this culture.
One that was actually at the freakin' hearings in front of a FULL council chamber, WITH media coverage, and giving testimony that IS now public record..It's been published in it's entirety on this very site, as a matter of fact....
I ask him if they were aware that Dr Jacobs was actually asked by councilmembers to admit, for the RECORD, that she has no clinical expertise or direct clinical experience in matters of gender change, and that this is not her field of practice whatsoever.
She stood right next to me the whole time and never even acknowledged me as a human being that day, five months ago.
I actually like her after speaking with her in person last week. I just dont like what she and others are doing. but that was about as rude as it gets. I even tried to greet her that day at hearing, and was ignored as if i didnt even exist. i dont deserve to be treated that way - no matter what your "moral basis" is.
I also dont deserve to be lied to, disrespected, and lied about, by people that have no experience or generally correct personal or clinical knowledge of my personal experience as a human being in this life. Yes, that makes me angry as hell. It would you, if it were you too.
Unless you can truthfully say you are actual witness to my (or anyone's) heart and mind, and my entire life's thoughts, feelings, and personal motivations, as long as i have been alive, then you might just consider backing it down. Someday, you might just be opposed and exposed as giving false witness to another person's life, and in every way possible.
So we continue our debate. I won't stop trying to go point by point to debunk their fears, show them the distortions, and face statements like - "then so what are you afraid of" if it goes back up for referendum.
Max is telling me that if it does, then it will be rewritten more clearly, with more public input, and then everyone will be happy and the CRG and CRC and everyone else will pack up and leave it alone for good. He actually said that too.
I'm a pretty fearless girl, by almost any standard, and i dont fear the public being better informed if thats the case, and in fact i welcome the opportunity to tell even more people the truth of this issue and the realities of severe discrimination and total misperception that we face every day in our lives. More than glad to.
What i DO fear though, is that since there is no protections on the Federal or State levels should anyone wish to discriminate against me in housing, workplace, and other public services (this constitutes about 99% of the actual legislation - the REAL heart of the issue) and yes - use of public facilities as are APPROPRIATE to MY gender - -
i fear that i, and everyone like myself in any way will have to wait what - ANOTHER year ?? Longer ? Longer before i have any legal recourse backed by any existing law that would prevent me from being discriminated against in any of those critically important areas of basic survival ?
Sure - i think i'll just kick back and wait around for everyone else to decide if i can have equal civil and human rights just like every other human being in this country is already entitled to have...
Sounds like big, big, fun to me...
I'm supposed to accept that as reasonable, when people like me face blatant discrimination, distortion, and lies, in every facet of public life for years now, and without any possibility of legislative recourse whatsoever. very nice. very thoughtful and reasonable. HAH!
So we continue. I have managed to get Jeff's attention and actually talk to the fellow a little now. He is more open, warm, receptive. Less excited. very calm, very reasonable and willing to listen to my side. Max is continuing his pitch and getting a few more signatures here and there.
I'll stop every now and then and ask people not to sign it, and hand them my own flyers that ask them not to, and why the logic and the oppositions' assertions are hugely flawed.
I tell people they are about to affix their legal signature to a document of public record without actually understanding BOTH sides of the issue, instead of the ONE and ONLY side they have been barraged with, in a well funded, and heavily advertised ((radio ads, robocalling the entire county with professionally recorded messages, print ads, etc..)) -
...and well organized scare tactics campaign, that effectively capitalizes on the most fundamentally horrific fears of any parent, husband, wife, dad, mom - that cares for children and each other.
I can barely pay my own bills and i'm supposed to be able to stand up to THAT ? That's fair, right ?
So - we continue our debate, dialogue, and sometimes emotionally heated exchanges.
I tell them things like - "if the kind of "predatory" people wanted to dress up in dresses, and do the things they say they will - they could have just as easily done that before the law was passed as they could now.
No difference. but they say the law will make it impossible to differentiate between those actual transgender citizens like myself that have every right to use the same facilities as every other person does, and those rapists, predators and pedophiles that wish to use women's clothes as a cover for their activities.
I tell them that the typical M.O. of pedophiles, and other predatory types, being very well documented and researched in this county, is typically very much under the radar. Why ? so they wont get caught doing all the nasty things they do. Reasonable, right ?
So now, suddenly just because this law is passed, they are all going to suddenly change their effectively predatory behavioral patterns, and engage in one of the highest profile kinds of activity that they have little or no or hope of pulling off to begin with.
Behavior which also is the most very likely kind of behavior which would allow them to get caught, captured, exposed, arrested, and stopped from obtaining their goals. Makes sense, dosen't it ?
I talk to them both about the real differences between Transgender people, and what about female to male transgender people (how come no one ever talks about THAT part of the equation, by the way ?) I talk to them about how that differs in almost all cases from gay, bi, or other.
What about people born with BOTH gender characteristics ? I talk to them about the term "lifestyle choice" and what an utter fallacy that entire term is, in relation to a person's actual Gender Identity.
This one i know better than either of them - being a child of about 4 years old, and in stunning emotional and mental awareness and anguish of this situation even at that age - thats flies right in the face of all arguments about it being a sexualized "lifestyle choice"...
I talk about and defend any gay person on that point and how most of them could not possibly fit the behavioral patterns of predatory males, and why in the hell would a gay man even consider trying to invade the ONE place, that they are SURE to find the very gender that they desire the very LEAST.
They had never though about any of these things, either. We are still debating. I am still doing everything to interfere with their getting additional signatures, and trying to literally plead with people about "please research the issue more thoroughly before they sign such a document", and that it could not possibly be fair to make decisions and judgements based only on one representation, of one distorted side of the entire issue.
I tell both of them that they should be insulted by being used in such a manner, and allowing themselves to be led by the amplified fears, agendas, and distortions they have most obviously been given by others that made sure to only address one specific aspect of a much larger issue.
They are obviously both very intelligent men that are just trying to do what they believe is right and proper based on the information they have been given..
I have no beef with that at all.
After about 45 minutes of this, i can see that Jeff is asking intelligent and personal questions. HE is now asking ME questions. I have managed to give them both enough new infornmation and viewpoint that at least one of them is starting to really think about it in larger terms.
I really can see it in his eyes. He is becoming unsure of the accuracy of what he has been shown and told in almost every way.
He is also a good Christian man - a truly good man - anyone can see that about this guy - he is a nice man and it shows in his willingness to be openhearted, considerate, quietly spoken, and open minded.
He at least begins to stop the improper and rude pronoun usage after i show him my valid and legal state identification, my real and full legal name, my business card, and repeatedly appeal to his sense of manners and common decency to PLEASE respect a request politley and repeatedly made to him, by a fellow human being and fellow resident and neighbor in the same county.
I give them both copies of my Testimony to the council, as well as copies of my follow up letter to the council (also published on this site - please see the article entitled "A Test for the Media" - and i never let up for one single moment. Finally help arrives -
Mr.Teacher Man. Dana Beyer made sure to send him to help me out.
A wonderfully warm and well spoken young guy that is apparently an actual teacher, and that has a master's in linguisitcs amongst other talents.
We have never met before, but the connection is immediate and he jumps right into the debate. Now at least we are on even terms and i am no longer outgunned and outpaced.
Max has been on the phone at least once, i'm fairly sure he has told his people that we are there. He gets a call and tells Jef they are done and "have another assignment" begins to pack and leave.
We continue to engage them. Ended up standing there and peaceably talking amongst the four of us for at least another half an hour.
Jeff and Max BOTH very honestly THANK me for helping to open their eyes and minds a little wider about all the differing sides of this issue that they had never even considered before.
They openly admitted there were a LOT of things that I - that we - had effectively called into question for them in such an intelligent manner they they would really have no choice now but to look at things a little differently - a much more expanded perspective than they had before they started out that day, in their signature gathering efforts.
Max is still very obviously committed to his point, and wants to see it come another forum of public debate as is his right...
Jeff seems at times now even to be right on the fence, and even seems a little wondering if he has actually made the right decision in supporting this cause...
I can see it in his face and his eyes - we are laughing sometimes now, sometimes still very serious though - this is serious stuff and we all know it...
Earlier in the conversation, he admitted he had never in his life actually met, talked to, or really studied any of the issues, clinical or otherwise about transpeople like myself.
I have talked to them about different male predatory types, non-predatory male hetero cross-dressers, female to male trans issues, and everything else under the sun in terms of human gender and sexuality.
Things that, it seems to me, the CRG, CRC, and it's many conservative allies, might apparently never ever discuss with them, and from what i can gather,
possibly not from a positive viewpoint of anything even resembling acceptance, or human compassion and civility toward people like me that this most directly impacts.
We eventually part ways. BOTH Max and Jeff give me real, warm, and earnest hugs and handshakes.
No hard feelings left at all, and there are many witnesses that have watched this, and seen this whole scene turn from a very heated debate, to warm, peaceful, mature, and open discussion and dialogue..
Jeff looks me dead in the eye and tells me bluntly i have really made him think about this in ways that "have really made him question certain things" and that he has been deeply impacted, and also very touched by this in a very unexpected way.
He told me "he had realized i had seen a great deal of pain in this life and he could really see it in my eyes and in my face".
He said that, and did so in a truly compassionate and very sensitive menner that almost took me quite off guard.
They both PROMISED to read the information i gave THEM. Told them to call me anytime they want. They have my business cards and i would welcome further dialogue with them, and they can obviously tell i really mean it from the heart.
Jeff flatly tells me he really likes me - he is being light and real and very straightforward and honest about his thoughts and feelings.
I deeply welcome that from anyone that is not being mean intentionally rude, or abusive towards me..
He and i honestly connected, and it deeply impacted him -
especially since i have effectively called his entire line of reasoning about this issue, and human gender and sexuality in general.
Myself and MrTeacher man have so effectively called it into question, to the point that he actually is expressing profound appreciation to me about this, still asking me questions, and telling me he likes/really appreciates the way in which i did it.
We hug at least twice, and MrTeacher Man even helps him load their table into the back of one of their cars.
I dont really think that sounds very much like what i heard today, about me supposedly intimidating and "deeply Upsetting" this very gentle and intelligent fellow.
He gladly shook my hand, he GLADLY and WARMLY hugged me as we parted company.
He told me earnestly, and with a great deal of real emotion showing, that he honestly appreciated all of the new information, and mass of new insights he had - they had BOTH been given.
Even Max echoed some of that last sentiment.
Intimidation ??!!! What a disgusting insult, and once again, a total distortion of the facts, and the truth, of what really has occurred....
To be continued.....
i'll be writing about More lies, ridiculous and insulting assertions, and total distortions exposed later today in the next narrative, leading up through yesterday - Sunday, as it is now 7:00am Monday and i still have not slept good yet, really for days now...
OK - Back to the keyboard for another round of my rampant ramblings that narrate what i have seen and done this weekend, with whom, and where....
Saturday, Feb 16th. As a result of the intercepts from the CRG/CRC, i already knew where one of the petition gathering stations was going to be that day as well. One of them, literally right next door to where i live, was going to be set up at Northwest High School, here in Germantown. Great - as an openyl TG woman living in a nice area of the county, what i really need is for all of my neighbors and fellow local citizens seeing or hearing words like "predator" and "pedophile" and phrases like "protect our kids" appearing even in the same paragraphs as the word Transgender, of ANY media, flyers, internet sites, and also coming from the mouths of respected local fellow citizens, and parents with families.
Yes - I will go there - I MUST go there, because more ignorance and unwarranted fear is now being put in the minds of all the communities that literally surround MY home.
I arrived at 12:45PM - the time that they were supposed to be starting. The main reason they had targeted that school on a Saturday afternoon was because Mr. George Zhang, a local resident and family man, runs a Chinese school there on Saturdays, apparently with the full cooperation of Northwest High and the school board.
In the CRG memo intercept that i recieved, it was clear they had a specific goal. Families with children. It was worded specifically to highlight that idea.
I had myself gone to the school the previous afternoon, on the advice of Dana Beyer, to speak to the Principal, Ms. Morrison, and find out whether the school knew that Mr. Zhang would be using his school for a primary target of this petition drive.
I spoke to one of the assistant principals, gave her my card, as well as copy of County Council testimony and other raw facts which directly refute the ditortions being made to the public about people like me and this issue in general.
She said she would try to get it to the principal and have her call me. She did not know about the petition attempt to be held at her school, but could not give any additional information on how to stop it.
So - back to Saturday. I arrived just before 1PM, drive up the main lower entrance where at least a hundred cars are already parked (parents of the Chinese school children, i assumed), and dont see anyone at first. Then i see him.
He is INSIDE the school's main entry hallway on that level, with the usual table and flyers and big signs in huge block letters. I was dumbfounded. i didn't think people wer actually allowed to conduct such political activites INSIDE of a public school building.
I had a sinking feeling and didn't know how to address this problem. I parked, called Dana Beyer, and told her what i had seen.
She advised me that she would start contacting people in the school system to find out whether he was there legally or not, and i told her i was going to go and engage him to see what i could do.
She will call me back as soon as she finds out anything.
I walk into the school lobby, and find him with his table. Along the front there is a HUGE sign that says in big blue block letters "PROTECT OUR KIDS", as well as all the usual distorted propagandistic materials provided to him via the CRG/CRC. He also has copies of the Bill.
Once again, as at other locations, he does not recognize me as anything but a typical woman with an interest in finding out what he is doing there. The scholl is very busy, and there are people of all ages - high school kids outside, the hallways are filled with kids as far as i can see for various extracirricular activites.
Again, my mind and my gut emotions just cringe to think the damage being done by these lies and mischaracterization about people like me, as well as all of the distortions being fomented about this bill in general.
He does not read me as trans at all. Starts his petition pitch. I ask him a few question to see if i can catch him in any lies - just as i have done at other location in previous days. He starts out by saying would i like to sign a petition against a "BAD bill" that has been passed by the council.
So far, i have successfully been able to document in all of my entries that almost EVERY single one of these supporters i have initially spoken with this entire week that were unable to read me, are opening their pitches to the general public with incomplete, ambiguous, or entirely inaccurate information, also obviously colored by that person's individual opinions about the matter.
That's bad - real bad. That means that if I am only one person that has been given distorted and/or misleading information right from the start of their pitch, then the same thing has already been done to thousands upon thousands of other fellow citizens.
Hurts me personally and professionally in every way possible.. Hurts bad and makes ne very angry with how unfair and untrue they are being in this effort.
I have enough difficulty already tying to just get though my days in public and professional society, and now thousands of fellow citizens have been given even more distorted or inacccurate information by these folks.
Information, that only serves to reinforce the common stereotypical and entirely incorrect misperceptions still publicly prevalent in most people's minds about people like me. Just makes me want to cry, and it hurts and makes me very angry that people can be this way.
I catch him up in at least 2 lies right off the bat, The same ones i have heard from other petitioners already this week.
I asked him if there had been any public hearings. He said no. He said the "8 member council" had just gone ahead and gotten this bill passed without proper public input or amendment. Same exact things i heard from the guys up at the farmers market the previous night.
Since all three of these statements are patently untrue, it makes me really wonder who is training these people to parrot these lies to the public under the auspice of responsible moral and ethical citizenship.
Their trainers must surely know they are spreading lies at the very least deeply bending the truth just enough into the range of ambiguity, that they know it will fly and get into people's heads when they hear these kinds of things.
So i start talking to the guy. He get's it after a minute and starts referring to me as "sir".
Since almost everyone i ran into this week addressed me in the proper female pronuns to begin with, and then once learning i am Trans, switch immediately to rude lack of proper civil acknowledgement. Gets brutally exhausting and frustrating day after day. I correct him on that and it takes him sveral minutes of discussion and repeated requests before he gives me that acknowledgement back.
I can't take his personal ignorance about the issue personally, and i cannot judge him for his lack of information.
He has possibly been fed every possible mispercption as his only understanding of people like me, up until this very moment when he is now being faced with having to actually speak to a transperson for the first time in his life, that he is actually aware of.
The discussion is civil at first, but the the second i call him on his lies about lack of amendments and lack of public hearings and lack of publicity, i give him copies of my testimony, follow-up letters, and try to tell him about all the media cobverage that actually DID occur during that time.
Now he gets a little rude and dismissive and disconnects from me.
he's not being mena, just cold and starts ignoring me, as he continues to assualt every family that come through the door with their kids with his lies and innacuracies. He tell me i am harassing him, to stop talking to him. I am tryign to appeal to his sense as an obviuosly intelligent and well-respected person in his community. I have cuahgt him dead cold in lies - that made him angry. I dont ever call him a liar but i DO try to tell him he needs to PLEASE stop telling people these distortions and untruths.
The more i appeal to his reasonable intelligence, the more frustrated he gets. He has several unfair advantages. First - he in INSIDE tjhe school - thereby giving and irrefutuable validity to what he is doing in the minds of all that know him and anyone else that runs across him as they enter the school from that side of the building. He is a fluent native speaker - Chinese. I know how to say hello and thanks in Chines and that's it. He has signs printed in Chinese. He is dealing with people that know him and that he can quickly and easily influnce to listen to him and he knows it and has taken full advantage of this on every level. You bet the CRC/CRG knew this too and were counting on his effots to be hihgly prized. So - what am i - one trnaswoman along and outpaced by his cultual connection with most of these folsk 0 supposed to do. I continued to do exactly what i always do. Talk to him without letup - not fight, not scream, not make threat of any kind.
i compliment him and try to appeal to his sense of decency. I try to talk to everyone that enters the hall and give them my handout before he can get to them. He is still racking up quite a few signatures.
I am literally fighting for my life in the court of public opinion, against people and organizations that have taken the upper hand by being underhanded, and used sheer distortions to sell their points and their campaign to the fear in the minds of concerned perents everywhere.
You had better beleive i am going to continue to engage their efforts, and try to prevent as many signatures as possible.
I ask him if he actually has permission to be there doing this. He seems to think so, as he must be able to run his school with the obvious agreement with the Nortwest High's Administration.
I cant stop this guy, and i am very nervous about getting into heated debate with him, inside of a school building with people and families milling around everywhere.
I talk to Dana Beyer again. She has been trying to contact school board members or anyone in the county system that can tell us whether he is there legally or not. Dana seems to feel strongly that he is not.
Apparently it is quite unethical and possibly altogether illegal to hold such a political petiton drive, much less a completely dishonest one, under the auspice of a school run by him or any other person in this situation.
So, either he was told falsely that this was OK, but the proer permissions were never really given by the school or the board, or he knows this already and is taking a risk in cooperation with CRG/CRC to try and get as much as he can before getting clamped down on.
Either way - this is dirty pool and the public needs to know that they are stooping to these tactics.
I really actually do like this guy - and we keep going from tacit and total disagreement to moments of actual intelligent discourse -
- but he is determined, and he bleieves firmly in his cause and will not be stopped for any reason. He took my copies of the Council testimony and put them aside immediately without even glancing at them after he had flatly told me there had been no such public hearings and little publicity. i call him out on it. He suddenly get's defensive ad sya "i didnt say that, you are twisting my words"....
Who in their right mind says such things, and then someone walks right up to you and says - uh - hold on for a moment - I WAS ACTUALLY THERE and gave testimony my very own self - and YOU, as an intelligent community member, don't even want to look at the hard evidence being put right here in front of your face... Blinded like fearful sheep. Disgusting and horrifying.
Talk about programming. these poor paople have had a real number done on them by the fear they have been fed with.
Talk about predators. What about preying on innocent people's fear -good hardworking folks that have been attcked by the predatory distortions, and blatant fearmongering from organizations like these ? My GOD, people. Can't you see what they have done here ???
A few minutes more and Dana calls me back and suggests that we are getting in touch with school official, and that he may wish to consider that fact that he might not be going about this in the right way, and there could be repercussion from this.
I tell him this in a very quiet and diplomatic manner. He now accuses me of "throwing "threats" at him" and gets VERY angry.
I try to tell him to just be reasonable about it - he might be collecting signatures which will be invalidated because he is going about it in an improper and possibly illegal manner.
Threaten him ? Good lord - i just tried to help him not get into trouble and he is calling it a threat. He finally gets so frustrated that he angrily picks up the whole table - hastily slams it through the double doors, and literally slams it down so hard on the sidewalk outsied the school doors that everything goes fying off it onto the ground - oens, flyers, clipboards - i try to help him pick his stuff up and put it back on the table -
Threatening huh ? here's an opposition member speading lies right in front of me, to neighbors in my own immediate community area, and im trying to help him pick up his materials from off the ground - acuse he just lost control and slammed his own table down on the ground in rage right in front of everyone that was there... yeah - i'm really threatening allright.
- i even said - "i'm sorry - i really didint mean for you to make a mess like that" he tells me to get away and dosen't want any help - - papers are now blowing across the parking lot...
i feel bad for the guy - kind of sorry for him at this point. I think he knows his bluff has been called and the jig is about to be up.
he regains full composure in like a minute. Goes back to being somewhat pleasant even. He even engages me in more talk about the bill for a minute. Then a man walks up - blue jeans, nice bomber jacket, sunglasses - he is not Chinese - i have a strange feeling this person might be here to help me ? i haven't heard anything and as far as i know i'll be here along with this man all day long.
He quietly asks Mr. Zhang wha's this all about. He is all to happy to explain so i beat him to it and explain it from my viewpoint about workplace and housing and public services discrimination protections for people like myself finally being passed into law. Mr Zhang listening without comment at all. Man turn to me and asks "are you Maryanne ?" i say yes - rather hesitantly, and he then smiles and introduces himself as Jim Kennedy -
I freaked. I almost jumped into the guys' arms. gave him a big hug and profuseley thanked him for coming - i was stunned - Dana must've called him and asked him to come help me. She knew i was getting frustrated and ovverrun by his language advantage from our previous calls.
A very pretty lady - shorter, sunglasses, in a nice coat and bright red scarf walks up - introduces herself as Chris - works with Jim directly. She is a total fireball - just seething with energy and good humor and excitement. Give her a hug too and tell her so nice to meet her - She immediately wants to know if i have eaten anything today - has some snacks in the car - will be right back -
Jim takes out his camera and starts snapping pictures of Mr Zhang in front of the school doors. He turns his head and firmly says -"dont take pictures of me !" - "you can't take pictures of me" - "what are you going to do with that ?"
Jim tells him he is in a public place and cant legally stop him.
Thats just the risk he had to take.
Does anyone out there think it's a little funny - these folks are willing to stick their necks out there to do this for the CRG/CRC, but faced with full public exposure of who they are, they get scared to death of something...
Fod God's sake please - if you are going to "publicly" "stand UP" for what you believe in, then why be afraid of who takes pictures -
what are you afraid of - what are you ashamed of ?
do you see me - one of the most villified, stereotyped, mispercieved, and hated of almost all numan population segments, and here i am - using my real name,( instead of all these "anons" out there - hiding in the darkness...
i'm not shying away from any cameras even though i know there are wackos and nut jobs out there that would love nothing better than to se me tortured, raped, maimed, killed, or shamed in any way possible -
do you see me hiding my face in fear or shame - DO YOU ??? NO!!! i have nothing to be ashamed of in standing up to these lies, and i am LITERALLY fighting for my very right to exist as a fellow human being and fellow citizen.
A minute later - i turn around and see another wonderful sight - my freind Cynthia - a stunning girl that hails from the Western Maryland area and that works here in Germantown. She has driven all the way down from Hagerstown area to help beat back some of the tide of lies and distortions that we are all facing. She is smart, very smart. Witty, warm, friendly, and VERY gentle, softspoken, and properly ladylike in every sense of the word. She walks over to where we are still talking with Mr. Zhang.
In nother minute or two, a very big guy, dressed in a navy blue MCPS uniform sweater pokes his head out the door. He has a radio on his shoulder and looks like police.
He looks at me, and then turns to Mr. Zhang and tells him flatly - " You have to leave, sir". You do not have permission to be here, you are not supposed to be doing this here on the school property". "You will have to move yourself and your materials all the way down to the edge of the school parking lot."
This is a BIG and very serious guy. There is no argument from Mr. Zhang. apparently the school board has now gotten wind of his illegal petition drive on school property and contacted security to have him removed. As it should be.
I leave Mr.Zhang with my usual offer of a handshake and no hard feelings. We are told by passerby about another table that is on the upper level of the school.
They have had TWO tables set up and illegally gathering petitions on school grounds. Just great. We all head for the upper level. Now its four of us.
I see an older and very well-dressed man - he is taking a folding table to his car out of one of the entrances. I know they must be the ones.
I call out to him politely - "sir - "sir" - he turns - i ask him if he knows anything about a petition - his face brightens immediately - sure - they were just getting some signatures - begins his pitch.
An older woman - his wife - well dressed - nice fur coat and pretty hat - VERY conservative- joins him. I inform him who we are and why we are here. 5 to 10 minutes of debate engages.
They are tacitly pleasant, but deeply committed to the sense of what they are doing. We get them to listen to some of the real logic and different version of the "truth" than what they were led to belive.
They are almost listening, but it's too much for them. They are elder, and we are challenging the validity of everything they have been given to believe about this issue. I make sure the wife has my testimony and letters in her hand before they leave and i tell her -
"if you read this, it might not completely change you minds, but it will definitely expand your view of the real issue.
They are getting disgusted, are packing to leave as they have also been thrown out of the school, and they turn and walk away.
We all decide to leave the school now and we are going to head for Leisure World on Georgia avenue.
I called Dana and thank her profusely for her help in making the calls to school administration to get them all removed from here.
The rest is for you - Theresa - since you have told so many lies about me and Dana, and You Anons out there that actually believe what you have been told by her.
We all get to Leisure world at about maybe 3PM. 4 cars with me in the lead because i know all the back roads. We all see no one collecting petition signatures.
We decide on coffees - it's still pretty chilly and we have all been going pretty hard for most of the day so far.
Besides, none of us really know each other that well except for me and Cynthia. I have never Met Jim or his friend Chris before, and Cynthia has never met either of them.
We all decide to get some coffe and sit and chat for awhile. Cynthia and i are going to head back upcounty soon to try and find more people trying to get petitions signed. We all go into the Starbucks, Christine very nicely treats us to whatever we want, and we get a table and all get comfortable and talk for awhile about evrythign we have sen and are still trying to get done. We laugh and joke and talk about srious stuff, too. After about 156 minutes, Jim gets a call from Dana - she has just arrived at the same place.
I don't think she knew we were there because Jim said in a very happily surprised tone - - "yeah - all of us are right here - cmon in and join us ". Dana walks in a minute later and joins us. I have a ot of questions for her about different legislative meanings and how this will go if they get their signtaures and get it to referendum. I ask her if that means that the entire law will be suspended.
I want to know this specifically because as it still stands right now, someone like me still has NO legal anti-discriminations protection in workplace, housing, or public services, on the state OR federal levels..
So that means if they get this pulled, i will have to wait God knows how long again before i have any recourse, should i be dsicriminated against (a very commonplace occurrence for people like us)...
We all sit and chat for another 20 minutes or so. It's getting late and we all have places to go. We leave the coffe shop and head for our cars. As we approach the Giant - i see a table - someone else says - hey - they're here -Sure enough - a petitions table.
I walk over and immediately recognize my friend Jeff - the same man that i connected so warmly with up at the farmer's market in Germantown the night prior. He sees us - then he sees me and his face litwerally lights up - as does mine - i step out in fornt of the group, and say "well, if it isn't my old friend Jeff" - "i also say - OK - so you Do know what is gonna happen now, right ?"
He smiles - warmly, greets me warmly with a big hug and a handshake and i introduce him to everyone there by name.
Sounds like i really threatened him again, dosent it ? This place is packed with people - witnesses EVERYPLACE watching what is taking place. I start to talk to him.
I ask him if he had read what i had given him.
He told me that he had, and that it had almost convinced him to pull out and stop petition gathering. He literally told me it had nearly brought him to tears as he understoood more fully the real issues women like us face every day in a society filled with hatred and ridicule.
Then he said, he "wasn't quite there yet" clearly meaning he was just right on the fence, as i had seen in his eyes the night before after we finished a wonderfully peaceful, warm, and very intelligent conversation at the Dutch market.
He flatly told me again that i had really had an impact on him and that it had really opened his eyes and his heart a LOT. I said "so what could we do to dissuade you from keeping going on this "?
Dana began to talk with him. As a doctor, and openly trnagendered woman many years past her completed transtiton, she knows more about the realiies, both clinically and personally than probabkly all of us combined. She shared some of her knwledge and additional perspcetives with him. It was quiet. Friendly. Open and entirely non-combative, Dear Liars.
I wasnt even aware that Jim was snapping pictures of the coversation.
Theresa said that Jeff is a good 5'11. He's actually just slightly shorter than i am - since i am about 5'9 1/2 and not even 160, that makes him no where near the fictitious height that she gave about any of us.
Jim is standing behind me, above me, on the lip of the curb, shooting across and down over my shoulder. That means that the view makes it look like we tower over this guy.
Someone please contact this dear man that i know i made a real friend of, and have him call me, or get on this blog to settle this pack of lies and smears once and for all.
So we all continue to just casually and quietly talk - to each other - with Jeff - and he's talking to us - asking more intelligent questions to me and Dana both about all kinds of TG and human sexuality issues and about this law and the struggle we face in open society... I step away as dana continues to talk to him. I start talking with Jim and Chris and Cynthia amongst ourselves. Every now and then i'll glance over and Jeff will cath my eye and i KNOW he WANTS to talk tome some more. We had made a very strong personal connection. Dana joins us, and Jeff has a chance to talk to Cynthia now - i turn to Jeff and say -
"Isnt this amazing - last night when I first met you, you had never seen or takled to any one like us about any of these issues form OUR side of it before, and here today, there are THREE highly intelligent, very professional, and well spoken, TG women that are the EXACT opposite of all the kinds of common misperceptions and stereotypes everyone has ever seen from things like drag shows and from Jerry Springer and other crap like that".
He smiled very warmly, and totally agreed in what seemed total amazement, and a happineess that could only have come from having his eyes and mind completely opened past all of the lies he had been fed about us...
Sure sounds like harassment and bullying and intimidation to me...
He and Cynthia are now VERY quietly talking as the rest of us talk amongst oursleves several feet away at this point.
I walk back over, and he says in amazement that - "I like all of you, but VERY SPECIFICALLY, I REALLY like YOU the MOST" because i really reached out to him and ""connected with him in a way that no one had ever done before"".
What an unbelievable bully i must have been to illicit that kind of reaction from someone.
I must correct Jim on his narrative of what Jeff said from this point, as that was also lied about and distorted by Theresa, et al..
He tells us, yep - in fact - he is done. He says that he just cant do it anymore and that he is done.
He says that between my story and letters, the night before, and everything he heard today, that he just couldnt do it anymore.
He admitted there was the very real possibility that he'd now realized having this legislation pulled really could be actually hurting our lives, which are already more difficult and challenging in ways that most people will never know about or care to understand.
He is a Good Christian man, as i said before in my earlier narrative. He said that it all had nearly made him "weepy" that was his EXACT wording. "Weepy". He was almost at the point of tears. i almost cried. Cynthia was amazed.
Everyone else was happy and gave him hugs. He simply said that this had had such an effect on him, and had so deeply shifted his perspective about these issues that he really needed to "go home, take a long walk alone, and do some praying".
He really needed to much more deeply question the things he had been told that had led him to support this petition drive.
He said he had not walked alone for far too long - in the woods and paths near his home, and that he really just needed to have some time to "meditate" on this, and that he simply couldnt support their effort anymore that day.
We helped him pack up his table. Left with huge warm hugs and joyful sentiments all the way around.
He also took Cynthia's business card because she works in computers and he needed some help with something about that, i think.
I started talking to a homeless man - very nice - he had been standing there and had seen the whole thing - he said that he couldn't vote because of his past record, but that if he could, he would never sign something like that.
Asked me if i had any change to spare - a quarter or a little sonething so that he could get a beer and something to eat. He laughed and said at least he was being honest.
I laughed, and gave him a hug - I had 3 dollars in my purse and gave it to him. I had no more cash and was flat broke already.
He was stunned and thanked me profusely because it was so much more than what he expected.
Sure sounds like i am a thug and a bully, dosent it.
I hope Jeff contacts some of you folks or that he has a chance to see what i have written about him.
I literally am begging that someone will let him see what i have written about him.
I hope he calls me and we have a chance to talk and that he is brave enough to stand up and tell the truth to all of your vicious, lying, backstabbing, childish, and barbaric rubbish.
I have nothing to hide about what happened with ANY of your supporters, and it is ALL a pack of blatant lies and smear tactics.
Please see the last section for the full narrative about what really happened with the elder woman at Rockshire.
It's the "Hypothetical Pedophiles" Blog Section, in which i responded directly to Theresa Rickman's accusations and lies, and asked her to deal with me directly.
I once again opened the invitation to her to talk with me, and even be welcome in my own home, or ANY moderated forum of HER choosing.
Really sounds like i am afraid to deal straightforward, dosent it?
Dear anons - hiding in the darkness and afraid to show your selves - please read that before you spew any more lies, hatred, and mistaken characterizations about me or Dana again.
I AM,
Sincerely,
Maryanne A. Arnow
OK - Back to the keyboard for another round of my rampant ramblings that narrate what i have seen and done this weekend, with whom, and where....
Saturday, Feb 16th.
As a result of the intercepts from the CRG/CRC, i already knew where one of the petition gathering stations was going to be that day as well.
One of them, literally right next door to where i live, was going to be set up at Northwest High School, here in Germantown.
Great - as an openly TG woman living in a nice area of the county, what i really need is for all of my neighbors and fellow local citizens seeing or hearing words like "predator" and "pedophile" and phrases like "protect our kids" appearing even in the same paragraphs as the word Transgender, of ANY media, flyers, internet sites, and also coming from the mouths of respected local fellow citizens, and parents with families.
Yes - I will go there - I MUST go there, because more ignorance and unwarranted fear is now being put in the minds of all the communities that literally surround MY home.
I arrived at 12:45PM -
the time that they were supposed to be starting.
The main reason they had targeted that school on a Saturday afternoon was because Mr. George Zhang, a local resident and family man, runs a Chinese school there on Saturdays, apparently with the full cooperation of Northwest High and the school board.
In the CRG memo intercept that i recieved, it was clear they had a specific goal. Families with children. It was worded specifically to highlight that idea.
I had myself gone to the school the previous afternoon, on the advice of Dana Beyer, to speak to the Principal, Ms. Morrison, and find out whether the school knew that Mr. Zhang would be using his school for a primary target of this petition drive.
I spoke to one of the assistant principals, gave her my card, as well as copy of County Council testimony and other raw facts which directly refute the distortions being made to the public about people like me, and this issue in general.
She said she would try to get it to the principal and have her call me. She did not know about the petition attempt to be held at her school, but could not give any additional information on how to stop it.
So - back to Saturday. I arrived just before 1PM, drive up the main lower entrance where at least a hundred cars are already parked (parents of the Chinese school children, i assumed), and dont see anyone at first. Then i see him.
He is INSIDE the school's main entry hallway on that level, with the usual table and flyers and big signs in huge block letters.
I was dumbfounded. i didn't think people were actually allowed to conduct such political petition activites INSIDE of a public school building.
I had a sinking feeling and didn't know how to address this problem. I parked, called Dana Beyer, and told her what i had seen.
She advised me that she would start contacting people in the school system to find out whether he was there legally or not, and i told her i was going to go and engage him to see what i could do.
She will call me back as soon as she finds out anything.
I walk into the school lobby, and find him with his table.
Along the front there is a HUGE sign that says in big blue block letters "PROTECT OUR KIDS", as well as all the usual distorted propagandistic materials provided to him via the CRG/CRC. He also has copies of the Bill.
Once again, as at other locations, he does not recognize me as anything but a typical woman with an interest in finding out what he is doing there.
The school is very busy, and there are people of all ages - high school kids outside, the hallways are filled with kids as far as i can see for various extracurricular activites.
Again, my mind and my gut emotions just cringe to think about the damage being done by these lies, and mischaracterization about people like me, as well as all of the distortions being fomented about this bill in general.
He does not read me as trans at all. Starts his petition pitch.
I ask him a few question to see if i can catch him in any lies - just as i have done at other location in previous days. He starts out by saying would i like to you to sign a petition against a "BAD bill" that has been passed by the county council.
So far, i have successfully been able to document in ALL of my entries that almost EVERY single one of these supporters i have initially spoken with this entire week,, that were initally unable to read me, are opening their pitches to the general public with incomplete, ambiguous, or entirely inaccurate information.
This is also obviously colored by that person's individual opinions about the matter.
That's bad - real bad. That means that if I am only one person that has been given distorted and/or misleading information right from the start of their pitch, then the same thing has already been done to thousands upon thousands of other fellow citizens.
Hurts me personally and professionally in every way possible.. Hurts bad and makes ne very angry with how unfair and untrue they are being in this effort.
I have enough difficulty already tying to just get though my days in public and professional society, and now thousands of fellow citizens have been given even more distorted or inacccurate information by these folks.
Information, that only serves to reinforce the common stereotypical and entirely incorrect misperceptions still publicly prevalent in most people's minds about people like me.
Just makes me want to cry, and it hurts and makes me very angry that people can be this way.
I catch him up in at least 2 lies right off the bat, The same ones i have heard from other petitioners already this week.
I asked him if there had been any public hearings. He said no. He said the "8 member council" had just gone ahead and gotten this bill passed without proper public input or amendment.
Same exact things i heard from the guys up at the farmers market the previous night.
Since all three of these statements are patently untrue, it makes me really wonder who is training these people to parrot these lies to the public under the auspice of responsible moral and ethical citizenship.
Their trainers must surely know they are spreading lies, and at the very least, deeply bending the truth just enough into the range of ambiguity, that they know it will fly, and get into people's heads when they hear these kinds of things.
So i start talking to the guy. He gets it after a minute, and starts referring to me as "sir".
Since almost everyone i ran into this week addressed me in the proper female pronuns to begin with, and then once learning i am Trans, switch immediately to rude lack of proper civil acknowledgement.
Gets brutally exhausting and frustrating day after day. I correct him on that and it takes him sveral minutes of discussion and repeated requests before he gives me that acknowledgement back.
I can't take his personal ignorance about the issue personally, and i cannot judge him for his lack of information.
He has possibly been fed every possible misperception as his only understanding of people like me.
Now he is having to deal with it, this very moment, when he is being faced with having to actually speak to a transperson for the first time in his life, that he is actually aware of.
The discussion is civil at first, but changes drastically the second i call him on his lies about lack of amendments and lack of public hearings and lack of publicity.
i give him copies of my testimony, follow-up letters, and try to tell him about all the media coverage that actually DID occur during that time.
Now he gets a little rude and dismissive and disconnects from me.
He's not being mean, just cold and starts ignoring me, as he continues to assault every family that come through the door with their kids with his lies and innacuracies.
He tells me i am harassing him, to stop talking to him. I am trying to appeal to his sense as an obviously intelligent and well-respected person in his community.
I have caught him dead cold in lies - he dosent think he IS lying, and that made him very angry.
I dont ever call him a liar but i DO try to tell him he needs to PLEASE stop telling people these distortions and untruths.
The more i appeal to his reasonable intelligence, the more frustrated he gets.
He has several unfair advantages. First - he in INSIDE the school - thereby giving an irrefutuable validity to what he is doing in the minds of all that know him, and anyone else that runs across him as they enter the school from that side of the building.
He is a fluent native speaker - Chinese. I know how to say hello and thanks in Chinese and that's it. He has signs printed in Chinese.
He is dealing with people that know him, and that he can quickly and easily influence to listen to him and he knows it and has taken full advantage of this on every level.
You better bet that the CRC/CRG knew this too, and were counting on his effots to be highly prized.
So - what am i - one transwoman alone and outpaced by his cultural connection with most of these folks. What am i supposed to do ?
I continued to do exactly what i always do. Talk to him without letup - not fight, not scream, not make a threat of any kind.
i compliment him and try to appeal to his sense of decency. I try to talk to everyone that enters the hall and give them my handout before he can get to them. He is still racking up quite a few signatures.
I am literally fighting for my life in the court of public opinion, against people and organizations that have taken the upper hand by being underhanded, and used sheer distortions to sell their points and their campaign to the fear in the minds of concerned parents everywhere.
You had better believe i am going to continue to engage their efforts, and try to prevent as many signatures as possible.
I ask him if he actually has permission to be there doing this. He seems to think so, as he must be able to run his school with the obvious agreement with the Nortwest High's Administration.
I cant stop this guy, and i am very nervous about getting into a heated debate with him, inside of a school building with people and families milling around everywhere.
I talk to Dana Beyer again. She has been trying to contact school board members or anyone in the county system that can tell us whether he is there legally or not. Dana seems to feel strongly that he is not.
Apparently it is quite unethical and possibly altogether illegal to hold such a political petiton drive, much less a completely dishonest one, under the auspice of a school run by him or any other person in this situation.
So, either he was told falsely that this was OK, but really, the proper permissions were probably never really given by the school or the board.
Maybe he knows this already, and is taking a risk in cooperation with CRG/CRC to try and get as much as he can before getting clamped down on.
Either way - this is dirty pool, and the public needs to know that they are stooping to these tactics.
I actually do like this guy - he is well spoken, and capable of being intelligent, civil, and friendly - and we keep going from tacit and total disagreement to moments of actual intelligent discourse -
- but he is determined, and he believes firmly in his cause and will not be stopped for any reason.
He took my copies of the Council testimony and put them aside immediately without even glancing at them, after he had flatly told me there had been no such public hearings and little publicity.
i call him out on it. He suddenly get's defensive and says "i didnt say that, you are twisting my words"....
Who in their right mind says such things, when someone walks right up to you and says - uh - hold on for a moment - I WAS ACTUALLY THERE and gave testimony my very own self - and YOU, as an intelligent community member, don't even want to look at the hard evidence being put right here in front of your face...
Blinded like fearful sheep. Disgusting and horrifying.
Talk about programming. these poor people have had a real number done on them by the fear they have been fed with.
Talk about predators. What about preying on innocent people's fear -good hardworking folks that have been attacked by the predatory distortions, and blatant fearmongering from organizations like these ? My GOD, people. Can't you see what they have done here ???
A few minutes more and Dana calls me back and suggests that we tell him that we are getting in touch with school officials, and that he may wish to consider the fact that he might not be going about this in the right way, and there could be repercussions from this.
I tell him this in a very quiet and diplomatic manner. He now accuses me of "throwing "threats" at him" and gets VERY angry.
I try to tell him to just be reasonable about it - he might be collecting signatures which will be invalidated because he is going about it in an improper and possibly illegal manner.
Threaten him ? Good lord - i just tried to help him not get into trouble and he is calling it a threat.
He finally gets so frustrated that he angrily picks up the whole table - hastily slams it through the double doors, and literally slams it down so hard on the sidewalk outside the school doors that everything goes flying off it onto the ground - pens, flyers, clipboards - i try to help him pick his stuff up and put it back on the table -
Threatening huh ? here's an opposition member speading lies right in front of me, to neighbors in my own immediate community area, and im trying to help him pick up his materials from off the ground - because HE just lost control and slammed his own table down on the ground in rage right in front of everyone that was there...
yeah - i'm really threatening, allright.
- i even said - "i'm sorry - i really didn't mean for you to make a mess like that" he tells me to get away and dosen't want any help - - papers are now blowing across the parking lot...
i feel bad for the guy - kind of sorry for him at this point. I think he knows his bluff has been called, and the jig is about to be up.
He regains full composure in like a minute. Goes back to being somewhat pleasant even. He even engages me in more talk about the bill for a minute.
Then a man walks up - blue jeans, nice bomber jacket, sunglasses - he is not Chinese - i have a strange feeling this person might be here to help me ?
i haven't heard anything and as far as i know i'll be here alone with this man all day long.
He quietly asks Mr. Zhang what's this all about. He is all to happy to explain so i beat him to it and explain it from my viewpoint about workplace and housing and public services discrimination protections for people like myself finally being passed into law.
Mr Zhang listening without comment at all. This man turns to me and asks "are you Maryanne ?" i say yes - rather hesitantly, and he then smiles and introduces himself as Jim Kennedy -
I freaked. I almost jumped into the guys' arms. gave him a big hug and profusely thanked him for coming - i was stunned - Dana must've called him and asked him to come help me.
She knew i was getting frustrated and ovverrun by his language and cultural advantage from our previous calls.
A very pretty lady - shorter, sunglasses, in a nice coat and bright red scarf walks up - introduces herself as Chris - works with Jim directly.
She is a total fireball - just seething with energy and good humor and excitement. Give her a hug too and tell her so nice to meet her - She immediately wants to know if i have eaten anything today - has some snacks in the car - will be right back -
Jim takes out his camera and starts snapping pictures of Mr Zhang in front of the school doors. He turns his head and firmly says -"dont take pictures of me !" - "you can't take pictures of me" - "what are you going to do with that ?"
Jim tells him he is in a public place and cant legally stop him,
and that That's just the risk he had to take in doing this on pblic property.
Does anyone out there think it's a little funny ? - these folks are willing to stick their necks out there to do this for the CRG/CRC, but when faced with full public exposure of who they are, they get scared to death of something...
Fod God's sake please - if you are going to "publicly" "stand UP" for what you believe in, then why be afraid of who takes pictures -
what are you afraid of - what are you ashamed of ?
do you see me - one of the most villified, stereotyped, mispercieved, and hated of almost all human population segments, and here i am - using my real name, instead of all these "anons" out there - hiding in the darkness...
i'm not shying away from any cameras even though i know there are wackos and nut jobs out there that would love nothing better than to se me tortured, raped, maimed, killed, or shamed in any way possible -
do you see me hiding my face in fear or shame - DO YOU ??? NO!!! i have nothing to be ashamed of in standing up to these lies, and i am LITERALLY fighting for my very right to exist as a fellow human being, and a fellow citizen.
A minute later - i turn around and see another wonderful sight - my friend Cynthia - a stunning girl that hails from the Western Maryland area and that works here in Germantown.
She has driven all the way down from Hagerstown area to help beat back some of the tide of lies and distortions that we are all facing.
She is smart, very smart. Witty, warm, friendly, and VERY gentle, softspoken, and properly ladylike in every sense of the word. She walks over to where we are still talking with Mr. Zhang.
In another minute or two, a VERY big guy, dressed in a navy blue MCPS uniform sweater, pokes his head out the door. He has a radio on his shoulder and looks like police.
He looks at me, and then turns to Mr. Zhang and tells him flatly - " You have to leave, sir". You do not have permission to be here, you are not supposed to be doing this here on the school property". "You will have to move yourself and your materials all the way down to the edge of the school parking lot."
This is a BIG and very serious guy. There is no argument from Mr. Zhang. apparently the school board has now gotten wind of his illegal petition drive on school property and contacted security to have him removed. As it should be.
I leave Mr.Zhang with my usual offer of a handshake and no hard feelings. We are told by passerby about another table that is on the upper level of the school.
They have had TWO tables set up and illegally gathering petitions on school grounds. Just great. We all head for the upper level. Now its four of us.
I see an older and very well-dressed man - he is taking a folding table to his car out of one of the entrances. I know they must be the ones.
I call out to him politely - "sir - "sir" - he turns - i ask him if he knows anything about a petition - his face brightens immediately - sure - they were just getting some signatures - - - he begins his pitch.
An older woman - his wife - well dressed - nice fur coat and pretty hat - VERY conservative- joins him. I inform him who we are and why we are here. 5 to 10 minutes of debate engages.
They are tacitly pleasant, but deeply committed to the sense of what they are doing. We get them to listen to some of the real logic and different version of the "truth" than what they were led to belive.
They are almost listening, but it's too much for them. They are elder, and we are challenging the validity of everything they have been given to believe about this issue. I make sure the wife has my testimony and letters in her hand before they leave and i tell her -
"if you read this, it might not completely change your minds, but it will definitely expand your view of the real issue.
They are getting disgusted, are packing to leave as they have also been thrown out of the school, and they turn and walk away.
We all decide to leave the school now and we are going to head for Leisure World on Georgia avenue.
I called Dana and thank her profusely for her help in making the calls to school administration to get them all removed from here.
The rest is for you - Theresa - since you have told so many lies about me and Dana, and You Anons out there that actually believe what you have been told by her.
We all get to Leisure world at about maybe 3PM. We have 4 cars with me in the lead, because i know all the back roads.
We all see no one collecting petition signatures.
We decide on coffees - it's still pretty chilly and we have all been going pretty hard for most of the day so far.
Besides, none of us really know each other that well except for me and Cynthia. I have never Met Jim or his friend Chris before, and Cynthia has never met either of them.
We all decide to get some coffee, and sit and chat for awhile.
Cynthia and i are going to head back upcounty soon to try and find more people trying to get petitions signed.
We all go into the Starbucks, Christine very nicely treats us to whatever we want, and we get a table and all get comfortable and talk for awhile about everything we have seen and are still trying to get done. We laugh and joke and also talk about serious stuff, too. After about 15 minutes, Jim gets a call from Dana - she has just arrived at the same place.
I don't think she knew we were there because Jim said in a very happily surprised tone - - "yeah - all of us are right here - cmon in and join us ". Dana walks in a minute later and joins us.
I have a lot of questions for her about different legislative meanings and how this will go if they get their signtaures and get it to referendum. I ask her if that means that the entire law will be suspended.
I want to know this specifically because as it still stands right now,, someone like me still has NO legal anti-discriminations protection in workplace, housing, or public services, on the state OR federal levels..
So that means if they get this pulled, i will have to wait God knows how long again before i have any recourse, should i be discriminated against(a very commonplace occurrence for most people like us)...
We all sit and chat for another 20 minutes or so. It's getting late and we all have places to go. We leave the coffee shop and head for our cars. As we approach the Giant - i see a table - someone else says - hey - they're here -Sure enough - a petitions table.
I walk over and immediately recognize my friend Jeff - the same man that i connected so warmly with up at the farmer's market in Germantown the night prior.
He sees us - then he sees me and his face literally lights up - as does mine - i step out in front of the group, and say "well, if it isn't my old friend Jeff" -
i also say - "OK - so you Do know what is gonna happen now, right ?"
He smiles - warmly, greets me warmly with a big hug and a handshake, and i introduce him to everyone there by name.
Sounds like i really threatened him again, dosent it ? This place is packed with people - witnesses EVERYPLACE watching what is taking place. I start to talk to him.
I ask him if he had read what i had given him.
He told me that he had, and that it had almost convinced him to pull out and stop petition gathering.
He literally told me it had nearly brought him to tears as he understoood more fully the real issues that women like us face every day, in a society filled with hatred and ridicule.
Then he said, he "wasn't quite there yet" clearly meaning he was just right on the fence, as i had seen in his eyes the night before after we finished a wonderfully peaceful, warm, and very intelligent conversation at the Dutch market.
He flatly told me again that i had really had an impact on him, and that it had really opened his eyes and his heart a LOT.
I said "so what could we do now, to dissuade you from keeping going on this "?
Dana began to talk with him. As a doctor, and openly transgendered woman many years past her completed transtiton, she knows more about the realities, both clinically and personally than probably all of us combined.
She shared some of her knowledge and additional perspectives with him. It was quiet. Friendly. Open and entirely non-combative, Dear Liars.
I wasnt even aware that Jim was snapping pictures of the conversation.
Theresa said that Jeff is a good
5'11 tall. He's actually just slightly shorter than i am - and since i am about 5'9 1/2 and not even 160, that makes him nowhere near the fictitious heights that she gave about any of us.
Jim is standing behind me, above me, on the lip of the curb, shooting across and down over my shoulder. That means that the view makes it look like we tower over this guy.
Someone please contact this dear man that i know i made a real friend of, and have him call me, or get on this blog to settle this pack of lies and smears once and for all.
So we all continue to just casually and quietly talk - to each other - with Jeff - and he's talking to us - asking more intelligent questions to me and Dana both about all kinds of TG and human sexuality issues and about this law and the struggle we face in open society...
I step away as Dana continues to talk to him. I start talking with Jim and Chris and Cynthia amongst ourselves.
Every now and then i'll glance over, and Jeff will catch my eye and i KNOW he WANTS to talk to me some more.
We had made a very strong personal connection. Dana joins us, and Jeff has a chance to talk to Cynthia now - i turn to Jeff and say -
"Isnt this amazing - last night when I first met you, you had never seen or talked to any one like us, about any of these issues from OUR side of it before. And here we all are today."
""There are THREE highly intelligent, very professional, and well spoken, TG women that are the EXACT opposite of all the kinds of common misperceptions and stereotypes everyone has ever seen from things like drag shows and from Jerry Springer and other crap like that".
He smiled very warmly, and totally agreed in what seemed total amazement, and a happineess that could only have come from having his eyes and mind completely opened, past all of the lies he had been fed about us...
Sure sounds like harassment and bullying and intimidation to me...
He and Cynthia are now VERY quietly talking as the rest of us talk amongst ourselves several feet away at this point.
I walk back over, and he says in amazement that - "I like all of you, but VERY SPECIFICALLY, I REALLY like YOU the MOST"
because i really reached out to him and ""connected with him in a way that no one had ever done before"".
What an unbelievable bully i must have been, to illicit that kind of reaction from someone.
I must correct Jim on his narrative of what Jeff said from this point, as that was also lied about and distorted by Theresa, et al..
He tells us, yep - in fact - he is done. He says that he just cant do it anymore and that he is done.
He says that between my story and letters, the night before, and everything he heard today, that he just couldnt do it anymore.
He admitted there was the very real possibility that he'd now realized having this legislation pulled really could be actually hurting our lives, which are already more difficult and challenging in ways that most people will never know about or care to understand.
He is a Good Christian man, as i said before in my earlier narrative. He said that it all had nearly made him "weepy" that was his EXACT wording. "Weepy". He was almost at the point of tears. i almost cried. Cynthia was amazed.
Everyone else was happy and gave him hugs. He simply said that this had had such an effect on him, and had so deeply shifted his perspective about these issues that he really needed to "go home, take a long walk alone, and do some praying".
He really needed to much more deeply question the things he had been told that had led him to support this petition drive.
He said he had not walked alone for far too long - in the woods and paths near his home, and that he really just needed to have some time to "meditate" on this, and that he simply couldnt support their effort anymore that day.
We helped him pack up his table. Left with huge warm hugs and joyful sentiments all the way around.
He also took Cynthia's business card because she works in computers and he needed some help with something about that, i think.
I started talking to a homeless man - very nice - he had been standing there and had seen the whole thing - he said that he couldn't vote because of his past record, but that if he could, he would never sign something like that.
Asked me if i had any change to spare - a quarter or a little something so that he could get a beer and something to eat. He laughed and said at least he was being honest.
I laughed, and gave him a hug - I had 3 dollars in my purse and gave it to him. I had no more cash and was flat broke already.
He was stunned and thanked me profusely because it was so much more than what he expected.
Sure sounds like i am a thug and a bully, dosent it.
I hope Jeff contacts some of you folks or that he has a chance to see what i have written about him.
I literally am begging that someone will let him see what i have written about him.
I hope he calls me and we have a chance to talk and that he is brave enough to stand up and tell the truth to all of your vicious, lying, backstabbing, childish, and barbaric rubbish.
I have nothing to hide about what happened with ANY of your supporters, and it is ALL a pack of blatant lies and smear tactics.
Please see the last section for the full narrative about what really happened with the elder woman at Rockshire.
It's in this same section, just above this entry, in which i responded directly to Theresa Rickman's accusations and lies, and asked her to deal with me directly.
I once again opened the invitation to her to talk with me, and even be welcome in my own home, or ANY moderated forum of HER choosing.
Really sounds like i am afraid to deal straightforward, dosent it?
Dear anons - hiding in the darkness and afraid to show your selves - please read that before you spew any more lies, hatred, and mistaken characterizations about me or Dana again.
I AM,
Sincerely,
Maryanne A. Arnow
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